Last year's houseguests offer their opinions of this year's houseguests. Nicole thinks Josh is disgusting. Hardy thinks Amy needs to tone it down. Kent thinks people are going to get sick of Tonya unless somebody "gets close to her with a pin or any sharp object and bursts 'em." Hee. Kent did have his moments. Autumn wants to marry Jason and have a thousand of his babies. And she hopes "good will win over evil." Oh, Autumn. How you have not changed. Hardy thinks there will be "a lot of fireworks." I really, really hate him, and his enormous smile, too. Put. Your teeth. Away. Julie promises that next week, we will be getting updates on the other former houseguests, including -- be still my heart -- Will. Of course, I know where Will is -- he lives in the saddest, darkest, most ashamed part of my heart, where he will remain forever, inspiring acts of trickery and wickedness, and the occasional NC-17 dream.
Stupid Julie HoH interview with Lisa. I find it so interesting that some of these people obviously dress up for the live show. Lisa is more made-up and done-up than she usually is, despite the fact that she's not on TV any more than she is on any other day. Anyway, Lisa comes across just as vapid and pointless as ever. She talks again about the great pain she felt because she was separated from the rest of the people in her big private bedroom, boo hoo hoo. She's grinning like an idiot -- again, like we don't see her every day scowling and grumping at people. She doesn't want Josh to be HoH, because it would be too much of a "power trip" for him. Of course, if she's looking to keep him off power trips, not going along with his every stupid notion would be one way to go. Just a suggestion.
More voting. Marcellas thinks Lori is a darling lady, but Amy is his "best friend in the house," so he votes to boot Lori. Josh swore on everything that he could come up with, pretty much, that he would keep Lori. Much to my surprise, he votes to boot Amy. My suspicion is that he thinks he would lose too many jury votes later (in his fantasyland where he makes it to the final two) if he voted Lori out after swearing on his family members, his dog, and Judaism. He also probably knows the votes are there to boot Lori, so it doesn't really matter. I fantasize about tying him to a tree and flicking him in the forehead every hour, on the hour, for three or four years. I would probably sharpen my fingernails first.
Julie reminds us that the voting is tied, and the last vote is the one cast by Roddy, which we haven't seen. She goes to the room full of houseguests and informs them that by a vote of five to four, Lori is out. Lori chirps her usual (and slightly psychotic) "Very well," and asks everyone to accompany her to the door. The endless goodbye sequence follows. Hug. Hug. Hughughug. These are always just the most emotionally ambiguous hugs ever. There's the "I really like you, but you're going to find out in about ten minutes that I voted you out" hug. There's the "I hate you, and I've got nothing to lose now, 'cause you're outta here, wooooo!" hug. There's the "Please think of me kindly if I wind up in the final two, and try not to pay too much attention to all the footage your family is about to show you of me calling you a psycho" hug. You could write a book called, Hugging When You Don't Really Mean It, and you wouldn't need anything but this show. Among other things, Lori is a pat-pat-pat hugger, only with all the body mics, it sounds like BOOM!-BOOM!-BOOM!. God, it sounds like building demolition in there. The two people who I actually think like Lori the most and are sad that she's leaving are, interestingly, Roddy and Eric. Oh, and somebody forgets to turn off Julie's microphone during the hugging, so you can hear her demanding that someone relieve her of the burden of the envelope she's carrying.