Big Brother
The Inaugural Boot

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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When Gerry Met Salad...

Jason and Danielle are playing cards, and he tells her how Josh slithered up to him to discuss strategy. She responds that no one has approached her about cooperation at all, and that it's beginning to make her nervous. Danielle also says in the diary room that she suspects that although Lisa is officially the head honcho, Josh is calling at least some of the shots. No flies on her. Her next step is to figure out just how big the Goober alliance really is, and she and Jason agree that it includes at least Roddy, Eric, and "the girls" -- Lisa and Chiara. In the diary room, Danielle vows to get Josh, and she ponders her next move.

Time for the food challenge. Like most of the food challenges, this one is brainless and bland, but the houseguests manage to act interested. I suppose it beats picking your teeth and playing with the lizard. This week, it's an egg toss -- first the men throw to the women, then the women throw to the men, and each egg represents one of the foods they asked for. If the egg survives the toss, they get the food. A close examination of the eggs in the baskets revealed that they requested, among other things, grits, pomegranates, Kona Coffee, half-and-half, mustard, pancake mix, and honey. Jason is excited about the prospect of getting vanilla extract. But Jason, does it go with cheese? Roddy says the men should throw the nonessentials, because the women won't catch anything. I narrow my eyes at him. We get underway at last. Eggs are dropped, eggs are caught, people yell. Among other things, this is our first opportunity to observe Eric calling Chiara "Kiki." That? Is very nauseating. They don't actually give us the totals as far as how many eggs the women caught and how many the men caught, but it does appear that the guys are better at the catching. I do like it when Roddy says that he declined to dive for an egg, determining that he "didn't think it was worth an injury for ground sage for the week." It's the way he says "ground sage." It makes me laugh, so now I narrow my eyes at him a little differently. As usual, they wind up with quite a motley collection of groceries. All the makings of a marvelous sardine and tartar sauce quesadilla, among other things. To Amy's delight, they pull down a veritable artery-load of cheese. Parmesan, Swiss, Cheddar -- it's a heart surgeon's paradise. All right, who requested corn dogs? That's just wrong.

Now Josh and Amy have an egg fight, which starts when she throws one at him. He, reasonably enough, grinds one into her hair. For some reason, Lori feels the need to point out that Amy "took it with grace," like, hello, Amy started the whole thing. Not only had you better be willing to have the guy crack an egg into your hair when you do that, but that should be the reason you do it in the first place, because getting each other sloppy is fun, and most certainly a time-honored way of showing affection. You know, I was watching a very, very muddy softball game once, and a friend of mine, who was built like a bear, had just slid into home and turned himself into a gigantic ball of nothing but mud. I lost track of him, and the next thing I knew, he grabbed me into this enormous hug, covered me with mud, and ruined (permanently) everything I was wearing. It was excellent, I recall it with great fondness, and if you don't understand why that is, you are not the kind of person who should throw eggs in a social situation.

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Big Brother

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