Okay, so we're back. Nicole tells Will that "this day has been so cool, [she] want[s] to hug [him]. That's how cool this day has been." Will braves a knife in the back and hugs Nicole. Then he runs away.
More yammering. It'sOnica and Will talk about their amazing reversals of fortune over the last week, while Jeff watches Nicole chop things, and prays she doesn't turn on him with the knife.
Another challenge. Yeah, in case you're keeping track, that's three challenges and one America's Choice so far. An episode devoted to All Will, All the Time, would be far preferable filler. ["Seriously, CBS could launch a show called Will Craps His Pants and I would watch it every week. Jessica, you could recap it." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, this current challenge is about all the fan sites that have been erected in honor of each of the houseguests. Needless to say, Mighty Big TV has not been featured in this segment, and more's the pity. ["As usual, CBS can't handle the truth." -- Wing Chun] Sue shows the four houseguests color copies of their fansite's homepage, and then introduces the challenge. Each houseguest is matched up with a Survivor, and they have to work out what basically is a Jumble puzzle, and...you know, just thinking about explaining this stupid -- yet complicated -- challenge makes me want to cry. I'm not going to do it. All you need to know is that it involves unscrambling clues, and the winner gets to log on to his or her CBS-approved fan site and see what the sycophants are saying about them. Hardly and Sue win, and Hardly's site appears to consist of screen captures of him, naked. Also, in the rush for the finish line, Sue shoves Nicole into a table, hard. God bless her.
When she recovers from her concussion, Nicole makes dinner. Then she complains. She serves dinner. And complains. They eat. She complains.
Bedtime. Alicia and Jeff share a bed. "Hey, just for ratings, could you guys bang?" Will asks them. Cue peals of laughter. "Is that unreasonable?" he asks.
Later, more....God, I can't take this anymore. Where are the machinations? The Puppetmastery? The shit-talking? All this comparing reality-show experiences and hugging and learning might be entertaining for the houseguests, but it's painfully dull for the viewer.
Finally, it's time for the Monday meeting. Hardly and Nicole don't really let loose in front of the Survivors. Oh, except Nicole complains. A lot. Alicia, by the way, is wearing something that looks like it was stolen from the wardrobe trailer of Moulin Rouge. It's this black and red lacy corset-y thing. It's really bizarre. And I stare at it for, like, twenty minutes and miss part of the meeting. Nicole's calling Will "a demeaning, dehumanizing jackass" snaps me right back into the thick of things, though. It'sOnica asks the Survivors for any advice they might care to impart. ["I'd just like to point out that of the four Survivors participating in this event, not one was among the final three. So I would think their advice would be pretty worthless." -- Wing Chun] Alicia tells them to be positive. Close shot of Nicole. Gervase tells them not to hate any anyone. Close shot of Nicole. Jeff tells them to try to have fun and appreciate what they have, and not to be depressed. Close shot of Nicole. Jeff then full-on addresses Nicole and tells her not to take "stuff" so personally, because she's going to regret not enjoying her stay in the house once she gets out. She does admit that she often gets depressed and angry. Thanks for the news flash. Jeff also tells them that his perception of the game has changed since he's been in the house; he has an entirely different theory on the likely winner. The houseguests all look at each other and twitter. "There's shit going on behind all your backs you don't know about," he finishes. That rascal, Jeff. Just going in there to stir shit up! Sue says it's just a game, but she wants them to play hard. "Show me a good loser, and I'll show you guys a loser," she says. Next are the nominees' speeches, and Nicole and Hardly cry a little bit and say that they love each other and respect each other and blah blah blah blah blah.