Nicole dramatically flings herself into the Diary Room and starts swearing like a sailor with Tourette's Syndrome. I honestly can't make out what she's saying, except that it involves Will, and she's not happy. "And the only good thing about my life is falling apart!" Nicole finishes with a big fat teary flourish.
Outside on the bed, Will and It'sOnica discuss how duplicitous Hardly and Nicole have been, and agree that their behavior is coming back to bite them in the ass. In the kitchen, Nicole uncorks a bottle of wine and sobs. Will tells It'sOnica that while he'd like to be HoH, what he really wants is the opportunity to kick Hardly's ass out of the house. Mid-sentence, Nicole stumbles, sobbing, onto the patio with her wine. "I can't believe this is my life," she wails. Hardly rubs her back and tells her to chill. On the bed, It'sOnica and Will continue to discuss. They realize that the two of them are going to have a hard week, but they don't care. They shake hands.
Will tells the camera that he's "used to sitting in [his] own urine and feces," and that he could have sat there on the bed all night, but...he knew It'sOnica wasn't going to lose this game. He points out that losing HoH has often worked out to his advantage.
Hardly then comes out and offers Will and It'sOnica the chance to take "a mystery prize," telling them that the prize could be their "wildest fantasy or worst nightmare." It'sOnica refuses, but Will takes the offer, and makes It'sOnica HoH for the first time. She's stoked. In the Big Blue Chair of Whee! Will tells us he's gambling that It'sOnica won't nominate him, and if she doesn't, then he's the only voter, and he can send either Nicole or Hardly home; since he hates them both, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to him in his entire life, ever! Oh, and Will's prize? A giant peanut butter jar, one of the props from a past food competition.
Hardly tells the camera that he thinks Will threw the HoH competition specifically to piss off him and Nicole.
"Will sold us out for a big fucking peanut butter jar," Nicole bitches. News flash: it's Will. Has he ever pretended to be anything other than utterly untrustworthy? Exactly.
The Presentation of the Jar. "My peanut butter jar! Yay!" Will says, screaming with joy and flinging the giant plastic prop around the yard. "I must be the luckiest boy in all the land!" he squeals in the Diary Room. "I won the Big Brother peanut butter jar!"