Big Brother
The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

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Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

And then the Survivors leave. Well, that was a wasted opportunity. There wasn't even any finger waving.

Back to business, and ain't it grand? Hardly tells us that Will would be a fool not to evict him. Nicole says she can't handle being split from Hardly, but she's going to have to suck it up. Will evilly muses that it would be hilarious to evict Nicole and "mix things up," and "he might just do that." Honey, please don't. Because you need to avenge Shannon with great wrath! Actually, I don't care about Shannon. But you do need to get rid of Hardly. For all our sakes.

Thursday. Okay, this episode has, seriously, ten minutes of action, half an hour of commercials, and twenty minutes of filler. They could really move down to a half-hour show and just pack it full of action, and everyone would be happy. Especially me. Man, even the credits are full of filler now.

Julie's wearing a strange outfit this week. Her red leather shirt thing is a flattering color for her, but the cut is odd, and I don't know that it really matches her brown suede pants. Julie outlines the events of the past week for the people who only tune into the Thursday show, and cues up several minutes of flashbacks. We know, we know: Hardly and Nicole are screwed. After I grow old and die, there's some non-flashback footage, as It'sOnica says it feels good to give Hardly and Nicole a taste of their own medicine.

So, Nicole and Hardly whine some more. They each protest to each other that they're indifferent as to whether they get voted out. Nicole sobs. Hardly lies on a deck chair and suns himself as he listens to her gripe.

It'sOnica tells the camera that Hardly and Nicole both want to stay because they both want (a) to screw over Will, and (b) the money. This revelation is intercut with shots of Nicole and Hardly each continually swearing they won't stab the other in the back.

In the bedroom, Will tells Nicole not to let Hardly guilt-trip her into anything. She says she's not. She's the guilty one, she moans. "You're guilt-tripping him? That's fine," Will says. Nicole chuckles in spite of herself.

Later, Nicole wails to Hardly that she's sorry, so sorry, so, so, so, sorry that she lost HoH and landed them in this hot water. This goes on for, like, an hour. Hardly finally tells Nicole to shut up.

It'sOnica is remarkably coherent today. Maybe all her new-found power has improved her grammar. She comments that Hardly and Nicole "did this to themselves, and Will deserves to feel powerful right now." You know, I've totally come around on the It'sOnica issue. Not only do I think she could possibly win, but I think I'd be okay with that. Her tenuous grasp of the language notwithstanding, she's quite likeable. Although now that I actually think about it, if she doesn't win HoH this week, it would make sense for whoever did win to evict her, because I don't think anyone could beat her. Am I thinking about this too much? Sorry. Moving right along.

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Big Brother

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