Big Brother
The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

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Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

Big Blue Chair. Will actually tells the camera that Jeff has nothing to worry about, and that the hot tub incident was actually all very innocent. See? He could totally have screwed Nicole over there, by saying that something inappropriate went down between the two of them. On the other hand, everyone knows Will is a huge liar, and therefore, by saying that nothing happened, is he trying to say that...? My head hurts.

On the bed, Nicole snuffles for a Kleenex. Hardly tells the camera that the entire Jeff/Nicole thing was resolved very swiftly, but we don't see any of the resolution. Instead, we fast-forward to Hour Three, there on the bed. Will is soaked in urine. Hardly comes outside and offers the three of them a deal: get off the bed, and win a trip in a limo to a fast-food restaurant drive-through! Because that is a crappy prize, no one takes the deal.

It'sOnica tells the camera that winning HoH will allow her to control her destiny in the house. Then she says something about Krusta's expulsion being a turning point for her and...yeah. Whatever you said, good for you, It'sOnica! She tells us that she wants to "right some wrongs," but she has to win HoH in order to do that.

Hour Four on the bed. Will is still humming off-key. Nicole perches precariously on the edge of the bed, barely touching her key. Will lies down next to her, and takes part of the bedsheet to wrap around his shoulders. Nicole reaches down to grab it back from him...with both hands. She then realizes what she's done and sticks her hand back on the key, looking around furtively. But it's over; Will saw her take her hand off and, soon, Big Brother dings a buzzer and asks her to get off the bed. Nicole stomps off in a huff. It'sOnica and Will look at each other with barely concealed glee.

Nicole stomps inside the house and hisses that she needs to break something. "What did he do?" Hardly asks.

Outside, Will moves into Nicole's spot on the bed. "One of them is going home, [It'sOnica]!" he chirps. She grins.

Inside the house, Nicole sobs. She sobs and sobs and sobs and sobs. Will looks into the camera and facetiously wonders how he'll sleep at night.

Bed: Will asks It'sOnica whom she wants to send home. "Whoever you want to send home, darling," she responds. "You're the boss," Will cheerfully reminds her. The two of them have never been so happy.

Nicole dramatically flings herself into the Diary Room and starts swearing like a sailor with Tourette's Syndrome. I honestly can't make out what she's saying, except that it involves Will, and she's not happy. "And the only good thing about my life is falling apart!" Nicole finishes with a big fat teary flourish.

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Big Brother

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