Big Brother
The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

Big Blue Chair of Get That Girl Some Eye Makeup Remover. Nicole and her tearful raccoon eyes snap that she hates Will. Hates him! The Puppetmaster music tinkles cheerfully in the background.

In the Diary Room, Will muses that, first, Nicole and Hardly will blame him for their situation, but then they're going to start angling to stay in the house. "And for once, I won't be the guy kissing butt," he says, and leans back, arms behind his head, looking all satisfied. Ah, yes. It is sweet, sweet revenge for Will to be holding Hardly's and Nicole's fate in his hands, and his hands alone. This couldn't have worked out more dramatically if it had been scripted.

Nicole stomps into the kitchen and starts cooking, staring blankly into the distance with crazy, dead, soulless eyes, all to the accompaniment of scary, Jaws-like music. Later, on the patio, Will wonders whether she'd like to play backgammon with him. "No," Nicole spits. "Not until you explain why you're such a jackass." Will smiles. "Well, I don't have an explanation for that," he tells her pleasantly. Then Nicole berates him some more, and Will just sits there and takes it some more, and, really, that's the very best way to further enrage someone like Nicole, because what she really wants is a fight. Just agreeing with her only makes her more angry. But she can't express that anger without looking like a total lunatic, because Will's being so agreeable. And I'm sure Will knows that. In the Diary Room, he tells us that he plans to "avoid [Nicole] like the plague, and maybe typhoid fever and leprosy."

Night Vision. Nicole berates Will yet again, sarcastically demanding to know what his principles are. Will agrees that they're suspect at best, but he insists that he isn't playing Nicole. Nicole bitterly retorts that he's awfully smart, and then proceeds to insult him some more. She mentions that she and Hardly are, at least, "fucking honest." "And I'm not," Will reminds her. "I've got to hand it to you, Willie, you played us like a violin," Nicole spits, and then climbs out of bed and walks out of the room to the melodious strains of violin music! Oh, that's really quite funny. As the violins sing in the background, Will puts on his girly sleep mask and drifts off, untroubled by a guilty conscience.

So Nicole stomps around the house for a bit. Then she returns to the bedroom, wakes Will up, and asks him why he thinks he can stomp all over her. He doesn't really respond, and she stomps right back outside again. Will follows her, and apologizes for being "such a monster." He then tells her that there is no way he's going to start doing the right thing, and that he would have lost to It'sOnica anyway. So, he figured, why not take the mystery offer? On a personal note, he calls Nicole "an amazing friend," and tells her that she's wonderful and blah blah lies lies lies. Nicole mutters that she doesn't even have the strength to hate him. "I'm glad you don't have the strength to hit me," Will says calmly. "Not hit you, hate you," Nicole explains. Well, Will is glad she doesn't hate him, either. He tells her that he understands if she doesn't want to speak to him ever, ever again. He deserves nothing, and she? She deserves everything. The violin music starts up again! Oh, those clever editors. Seriously. The violin music is a funny touch, and for once I'm not being sarcastic. Anyway, over in the Big Blue Chair of Stating the Obvious, Will smiles. "No one is going to be more evil than me, and no one is going to lie more than me," he reminds us. "It's the way the game works."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Big Brother

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP