Big Brother
The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
The King Is Dead. Long Live the King!

Nicole sobs some more, about her marriage, about the game, about Will. Long story short: she's totally losing her marbles. Hardly doesn't really know what to do with her. He tells us that he's trying to "keep her sane, but she's really coming apart at the seams." She bitches and moans and cries and sobs. Hardly muses that he thinks Nicole will leave the house "without hesitation" if she really thinks her marriage depends on it. Wait, didn't he tell us twenty minutes ago that Big Brother facilitated a resolution to this? Maybe that was just some kind of psychic prediction.

Food competition time. No one cares. It'sOnica is so happy to be HoH that the food competition is meaningless; Hardly is worried about getting the boot; Nicole is a basket case in general; and Will is too excited about having Hardly's and Nicole's fate in his hands even to think twice about food. Anyway, the competition is basically a fancy version of Supermarket Sweep, with an obstacle course component. The best part is when Will stuffs the food in his pants, in order to haul more of it. I don't know that I'd want to eat pork that had been in Will's pants. Or would I?

Okay, moving right along. Nicole moans about the "banner that crushed [her] world," and then continues her Spiral Into Complete Mental Instability, crying and sobbing and pulling her hair out and rubbing her scalp and walking around all dead-eyed and crazy. Hardly nervously suggests that she "talk to someone." She sobs that she needs to know that her husband is okay, and then stumbles around the house some more. Apparently, her Descent Into Madness kicks off with an inability to remember to wear pants. Because she's not wearing any.

Nomination Time! Although It'sOnica claims to be nervous, she seems quite calm. As she looks at the memory wall, It'sOnica comments that these nominations are for the underdogs. While It'sOnica is doing the Box of Fate thing in the HoH room, Nicole sits at the kitchen table and grips her skull. At long last, It'sOnica comes out with the box and does her thing. She announces that she likes what Hardly always says -- that this is a game, and not personal -- and she just wants to reiterate that. Well, she doesn't use the word "reiterate." Then she reaches in the box, pulls out Will's key, and hands it to him; Hardly's and Nicole's world crumbles around them! Crumbles! It'sOnica tells Nicole that when she broke up It'sOnica's relationship with Krusta, she wasn't breaking up a power, she was breaking up a friendship. I think. As for Hardly, It'sOnica is all, "I'm gonna make a long story short," except it's too late for that, and then tells him that he's a threat to win the game. She reminds them that they haven't made their alliance a secret. "You kinda threw it up in our faces, but it's a game, don't take it personally, you are a power, and that's why I nominated you guys," she finishes. Everyone nods.

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Big Brother




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