Big Brother
The Princess Lands Her Tiara

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ending and Pretending

Julie reminds Marcellas of the time she whacked him in the back of the head with a card. He recalls that. "Did arrogance cost you this game?" Julie asks, in an unusually straightforward and un-Julie-like fashion. Much to no one's surprise, Marcellas says that arrogance didn't cost him the game -- his sheer wonderfulness and purity of heart cost him the game. He loved everyone, so his pure and true heart simply could not survive. It was sort of like Edward Scissorhands, the way Marcellas describes it. Get. The. Hook.

Now, Julie asks Amy about her comment when she left the house the second time, to the effect that she would need armed guards to protect her from Kiki and Tonya. "Actually, Chiara and I are planning on moving in together," Amy says, and everyone laughs. She says that while she is kidding about being roomies, she and Kiki have in fact sort of made up. Yeah, right. That would be cool if they lived together, though -- talk about a sitcom in the making! Of course, it would have to be on pay cable, because of Chiara.

Julie sends them all back into the house. Roddy is appointed to walk in front of the line. You just know that some part of him was like, "Yeah, that's appropriate. At least Julie gets it. She's mature. She's good people, like I am. Also, I think she wants me." At any rate, they all pile out, and head from the studio over to the house. Jason is given the grave responsibility of being the Doorbell Ringer. A rare technical glitch plagues the usually spot-on crew, and just as Jason reaches for the doorbell...it rings. Yep, before he touches it. He doesn't even really fake the sound guy out, either, like he's one of those guys who shoot free throws with a little pause at the top to make you step in the lane. They just plain jump the gun. Well, of course they do! They're so excited! Aren't we all? It's almost over! Hooray!

Eric goes in last. Because it's more suspenseful that way. You can have the phony friendliness up front. The love must wait. You can't hurry love, you know.

Inside, Danielle and Lisa are told that they have visitors. Lisa goes over and opens the door. There is a semi-joyous reunion among all the evictees and the two people they can barely bring themselves to vote for. Eric hangs back while everyone else hugs Lisa. Eric is holding a big stuffed dog. Whether it's Lisa's old dog or a new dog, I'm not sure. Wow, I narrowly avoided a metaphor of some kind right there, I can tell. I felt it whip by my ear. When Eric and Lisa finally hug, everyone else who watched the episode but me apparently can hear Eric tell her she won, but I can't. I believe them, I just don't hear it. I can tell he says something, and then she asks him if he's sure, and he says he's sure, and then they cut away to Julie very quickly. She says that it is (mercifully) almost time for the vote. Thank goodness. I can't take much more.

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Big Brother

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