Time for the winners' Chenterview. Julie congratulates them, telling them they're "both winners." Why do hosts always say things like that? They're not both winners. Lisa won. Danielle lost. You can tell by the extra zero at the end of Lisa's check. More from Danielle about the fact that she got in trouble for doing the "bad things" that got her into the final, and I think my id is fully aired on that topic, so there you have it, and I'll leave it there. Danielle says the way this ended has proved that "a good person can win it." Take that, Will! Then she throws in, "And they don't have to play hard." Oh, meow. Asked whether she would do the same things if she had it to do over again, Danielle says, "I would do it exactly the same." Which apparently means she enjoyed losing and it would be her preferred outcome if she did it again. She's really not as smart as she sometimes seemed, you know.
Asked whether she's surprised she won, Lisa says she was, "because of last year." In other words, she expected evil to prevail. Hiss! Spit! Julie asks whether they were surprised by the lopsided vote, and Danielle says that once she felt the non-love in the Q&A session, she sort of got the idea that the tide had pretty firmly turned against her. Julie leads the women through a little word-association game, in which she rattles off former houseguests, and they're supposed to say whatever comes to mind. Highlights: Lisa calls Amy "crazy." She responds to Marcellas with, "Beautifulness." "Beautifulness"? Sigh. I think I'll be needing the English-Lisa/Lisa-English Dictionary yet again. They call Roddy "a good man" and "wonderful." Whatever. Lisa calls Gerry "strong," which I give her credit for noticing. Lisa calls Eric "lovely," which is kind of cute, and much better than most of the things she might have said. They both call Jason an "angel." I still think one of them should have said "shave." Julie offers Lisa congratulations.
When we come back from the last commercial, Julie wraps it up on the front steps of the house with all the houseguests gathered around her, including Lisa, holding the big stuffed dog. Julie makes a lame peanut butter joke, and then a lame haggis joke, and then mercifully? It is not on. Anymore. Until next year. May we all be here to suffer through it together.
Not surprisingly, bad music plays over the credits.