Big Brother
The Spirit Of Fairness

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The Spirit Of Fairness

Later, Joe entertains these people with his bitter bullshit about Dustin, doing a whole standup routine about his gonorrhea to the living room at large. Meanwhile, Dustin is counterspinning on a smaller scale, tucked into a corner with Daniele as he defends himself. Joe concludes that he's campaigning to get Dustin kicked off. Dustin and Daniele bond over their enemy status, and Dustin advises her, "This is your family. That's just an ex-boyfriend." Like Dick isn't several hundred ex-boyfriends as well, if you just ask enough people.

And then Carol and Jessica make nice in the weight room, while sniping behind each other's back in the Diary Room. Then they decide to pretend not to have made up so they can use their perceived enmity to their advantage in the game. Not that either of them has any idea how to do that. This storyline is already fizzling. It's hard for people to have any depth of hatred for each other when they have no depth.

We're reminded that Kail won the HoH competition, which is completely contrary to her initial strategy of "flying under the radar," which is what her son told her to do. That's not the nicest thing you can say to your mom, I think: "Try to not let anybody notice how much you suck." She runs into the house, waving the HOH room key and inviting everyone to come with her to check it out. It's at the top of a spiral staircase, and Kail interviews that she's hoping for a bed and pictures of her family. GREEDY, GREEDY, GREEDY! Just kidding. You'd think she'd hope for something a little more luxurious. When they go inside, it looks like a very swanky prison cell, except that there's a big bowl of snacks on a table and the pictures of her family are framed instead of stuck to the wall with chewing gum. She "introduces" everyone to her family, and Amber interviews that she thinks the two of them will have a mom bond. By the way, Kail doesn't seem aware of this bond. Maybe Amber's strategy is to find common ground with whomever is HoH in any given week, like, "I think Joe and I really click, because we're both bipedal." Daniele DRs that if she had family pictures, they would be of her dog and boyfriend and grandma, etc. Because that's her family, right there. Who needs parents? Especially the one there in the room with you, grinning around awkwardly at everyone?

When Day 2 dawns, everyone in the entire house hops up from sunbathing in the yard to go see the photo wall. Jen's looks fine to me, but she's so distressed by it that she literally starts crying. Even Jessica thinks Jen's being immature about it. Joe DRs that he thought it was a joke at first. "I love my photo, by the way," he adds. It is cute. Jen's still standing there with her hand over her photo, and she DRs weepily, "That's the picture everyone sees right now." No, what everyone sees right now is a ditz coming completely unhinged over a perfectly decent photograph. Even the music guys are mocking her with a deeply operatic score for this scene. Is Jen going to stand there with her hand on the wall all summer? No, she's going to go get a potholder from the kitchen and tape it up to conceal the picture. Right here is when I would instantly become the houseguest who loooooves to make casseroles, three meals a day. "Hey, where's the potholder? My casseroles need to come out of the oven. Jen? Have you seen the potholder?"

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Big Brother

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