Big Brother
These Two? Really?

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Farewell, Evil One

Later, Mike tells us that he's never been in the house without Will. He says he's "very upset," and then in the DR, he cries. He cries. Because that's how much he feels exposed. I think that without Will, and without the ability to extravagantly claim that he's fooling women all over the world, he knows that there's just not a hell of a lot to him. My favorite part is when he snorfles into one of his own assy, ugly, hipster-y hats. Looks good on you, you pitiful fucker.

Outside, Janelle and Erika speculate about what Mike must be thinking. "He's thinking, 'I'm all alone in this house, and I'm miserable,'" Erika predicts. "If any woman has ever been played by a guy, she should feel great for what Erika and I have just accomplished," Janelle says. Eh. I've certainly never been played that bad, but I mostly just was glad that (it appeared) Erika wasn't going to be left quite the big heap of mess that it looked for a while like she might.

Mike, on the other hand, says that he has to "regroup" and figure out how to play without Will. Hilarious tinkly piano music plays, and then there's this great moment in the DR where Mike picks up the fake phone for the hysterical cackling, but it just pretend rings and rings. Okay, that was pretty funny, which means that undoubtedly, it was not Mike's idea.

Julie tells us that Mike and Janelle are about to compete in the HoH competition's second round. Exciting, no?

When we come back, Julie is standing in front of the giant "Head Of Household" screen. It's time for Mike and Janelle to compete in a second round. When they all get into the backyard, there's a convertible (Solstice!) floating in the center of this giant ring of scaffolding. Basically, they'll be suspended on a harness, and they'll have to work their way around the outside of the ring, adjusting mirrors so that laser beams are redirected wah wah wah...it is, for once, something other than trivia questions, since it requires the dexterity to maneuver around the ring and to adjust the mirrors properly. When Janelle reads the instructions out loud, the word "Solstice" is read to rhyme with "poultice." I guess she hasn't "studied" the dictionary too much.

Janelle climbs up. At the beginning, she has no difficulty whatsoever winging her way around the scaffolding. She says in the DR that it was "hard," but you can see at the beginning that she can do it; she just gets sloppier about it as the game goes on. She also complains that she had trouble figuring out how to line up the lasers. She does eventually complete it. When Mike gets out there, he's got his head covered in little ponytails, because it is his ultimate quest to die in a fiery blast of ironic awesomeness, in which everything that makes him more than obviously a complete asshole is revealed to be a sign of greatness, he is adored more than Will as he should have been all along, and he takes over the world, ponytails and all. He screws up one laser, but other than that, he seems to work a lot more smoothly than Janelle did.

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Big Brother

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