Big Brother
These Two? Really?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
Farewell, Evil One

When Will and Mike head inside, I have my only moment ever of missing Marcellas, because Mike is padding around in no shirt and just the referee pants, and he looks incredibly stupid, but also like he's trying incredibly hard to look cool. I wonder if anyone told him before he went prancing around like this that he looks like a malformed ballet dancer who can't actually dance. Marcellas could have made something out of that, and it would have been beautiful. The two boys sneak into the storage room and do their little jump-up-and-down thing with the wuh-wah-wah-wah music, because the funk band thinks girls are dumb. Will tells us that their plan is to get the women hating and suspecting each other so much that either of them will be determined to take the other one out. Mike refers to this as "old school, bro." I have to say, I think it's a little more like Old School, without the part where it's funny on purpose. I loved it when I learned that Old School is actually one of Mike's favorite movies, because I'm pretty sure he doesn't consider it a comedy, or if he does, he doesn't understand the way in which he is the punch line.

Later, Janelle, Mike, and Will talk about what kind of ring Janelle would demand when she gets married. The guys are both surprised to hear Janelle claim that she wouldn't need much of a ring. Neither of them believes her. She predictably takes offense, yawn. Mike decides to cause trouble by suggesting that they all have a "crazy weekend in Vegas" and Janelle and Will can do a "fake, cheesy wedding." Will does not think this is hilarious. In fact, Will kind of wants to strangle his idiot friend. "Why would we do that?" Will asks through a strained, insincere grin. "'Cause you guys do your little flirt thing," Mike answers. Janelle looks confused, and for once, it's not because of the vocabulary being used. She answers that maybe they'll get drunk and they'll really get married. "That's what I'm hoping for," she chirps on the square. Will speculates that he will then spend an entire week getting it annulled. "Why would you do that, Will?" Mike asks. A chirping-cricket effect is cranked up in the background as Janelle stares at Will. "So that we could get married in Minnesota and have it legit," he finally says. It's depressing, because Janelle clearly thinks they're going to go off and go to the prom together, despite the fact that she knows Will has a girlfriend. Not the best decision-making, there, you might say. You get the guy, you lose. You don't get the guy, you lose. It's really pretty simple.

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Big Brother




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