Big Brother
These Two? Really?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
Farewell, Evil One

Mike gives the tour of his HoH room. You know you couldn't avoid it forever. This whole ridiculous gimmick has entirely lost its luster now, but basically, he gets the gifts of Spaghetti-Os and powder blue furnishings. Will kind of can't believe that Mike likes Spaghetti-Os and is happy to have them. I think whoever shops for the house likes Mike a little bit less than I do. Will tries to get the girls to take a bath with him and Mike in the HoH tub, but Mike encourages them all to just move to the big hot tub outside.

So now, they're all in the hot tub, drinking to their own awesomeness, and Will is getting revenge on Mike for the wedding business by asking why he and Erika don't just get together and have a baby. Will tells us in the DR that the "loud clicking" is Erika's biological clock. I'm not sure those jokes are going to be so funny to guys after this week, when we learned that there's a good chance that "as men age, there is a greater chance of new mutations in their sperm." So much for a substantial chunk of one of your natural advantages, smarty-pants. Anyway, Will tells Mike and Erika that if they have a baby, they will have been much more thoughtful about it than many people, especially since they have a doctor to oversee the proceedings and advise them. Will announces that the baby shall be called, "Chilliam." Erika obligingly laughs, but she's not serious. That name is not on the list she has come up with at all. You can look in her notebook. She then DRs that she wants to have a baby with Mike, which I so, so hope is not serious. Will asks them if he can deliver the baby, and Erika says that he can. "One of the major ploys of the week," Mike says, "is to really cement my relationship with Erika. You know, she's in her mid-thirties now, and she needs to start thinking about the future, and I was...willing to do that. I am willing to do anything at this point to make sure Chill Town gets to the final two." I'm kind of hoping that some kind of supernatural curse is in effect, where the 10,000th time Mike says "Chill Town," his head will explode like a potato in a microwave. I refuse to give up hope.

And then Will and Janelle are in the hot tub, and she tries to get him to make out with her, as she's been doing for, like, ever, and he DRs that from his perspective, "Operation Double Date worked too well." Will says that Janelle is all over him and wants him to kiss her and sleep with her and stuff. Wow, easy to feel sorry for him, isn't it? "I'm done," he tells her in the hot tub. "Well then I'm done, too," she says petulantly." "Good," he answers, and then he mutters, "psycho." Of course, she gets offended, and he calls he on the fact that she's clearly not used to not getting exactly what she wants all the time. Janelle drunkenly slurs that he annoys her. "Then let's not even be friends," he says, and she agrees. Janelle, proving the correctness of precisely what he's saying, which is that she already sees herself as his girlfriend, tells us that they had their "first argument." She calls it "really bad and messy and awkward," although it looks to me like she's just slurring drunk, and it's not really awkward for him in the slightest, except that she's acting like a nutbar. She leaves the hot tub in a huff, and Will DRs that she's "easily angered," and he's now concerned that Janelle will get PoV and evict him.

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Big Brother




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