Big Brother
These Two? Really?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
Farewell, Evil One

So, of course, Will and Janelle have to have a talk. She's wearing her usual one-shoulder-on, one-shoulder-off combination. They talk in the storage room, and Erika listens at the door as they have what appears to be a completely meaningless make-up discussion. I completely don't understand why these two insist on whispering all the time. WE CAN HEAR YOU, DUMMY. And even if we couldn't, isn't it sort of the deal that you give up your privacy when you go on a show where there are 4,000 cameras on you at a time. Anyway, Erika does, according to her DR session, learn that Will seems to have told Janelle the same thing he and Mike have been telling her, which is, "You're staying, baby! She's the one who's going." When Mike comes upon Erika listening at the door, he immediately bursts in on Will and Janelle, and Erika completely misses the boat and thinks that Mike is just the worst spy ever. Not too bright. "I will definitely be in charge of teaching our child spying lessons," she says. Mike will be in charge of headgear, presumably.

So when Mike has been supposedly shooed away and has taken Erika with him, Janelle whines to Will, "I just -- I don't want to be in the house with heeeer. She upsets me." She is...really too old not to have any fucking coping skills. Will promises he's going to do everything he can to get rid of Erika, and now they hug, and they make up, and squeeeeee! But Will does repeat to her that she's used to getting her way with everything, and that she's not used to the fact that he doesn't give her whatever she wants. And then he twirls her, and that, of course, makes everything better. "You always make me smile," she twitters., of course he does. He always tells her she's pretty, and that's all it takes. She seems to think that being told she's hot constitutes an effort to have a relationship with her, and I just do not get that at all.

Later, Erika and Mike lie in bed, and she says that she can't wait to get him out of the house. And she doesn't mean that in the way in which it would be awesome. She means it in the way in which it is pathetic and probably dangerous to her health. Mike tells her that it's great how they respect each other enough that they're not trying to "push things." She says in the DR that she wouldn't have expected to "meet [her] mate in the Big Brother house." Oh, Erika. "There will definitely be something between the two of us when we leave." Yeah. And it's catching. Back in bed, Mike murmurs, "I mean, we'll never forget this. You know what I mean? People don't have this in their lives." You can kind of tell she spends all her time around reality-show people, because this isn't just bullshit; it's bad bullshit, and if she knew anyone normal, it wouldn't affect her. It's not even worthwhile bullshit. In the DR, Mike says, "Erika is going to be extremely hurt after the show." He adds, "I'm a bad, bad person. I am going to hell." And he says it with unmistakable pride.

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Big Brother




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