Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Lydia, Oh, Lydia

Offbeats Lydia and Kevin sway in the hammock, agreeing that they don't really want to go back to high school. Kevin frets about the need to relate to Jessie, and she advises him to try to connect with him based on how they've both been judged for their appearance. Quite earnestly, Lydia DRs that she's not going to judge Jessie for his appearance either. And neither am I. I judge him for being a dickhead. [Clearly, Lydia never watched last season. Or likely any season since she seems not to understand game play at all. - Angel]

While most of the house is downstairs eating, Jessie and Russell sit down across the chessboard from each other to talk strategy. Russell thinks Lydia's the big threat, and that he wants to be on Jessie side, which will make them unstoppable. Did Russell... watch last season? [Apparently only nerds like Ronnie have time to actually watch this show.- AC]

Later, Ronnie, Laura (Popular), Kevin, and Lydia watch Jessie play chess with Natalie. Out of nowhere, Laura says Jessie is the hottest guy in the house, which is too transparent for even Jessie to buy, and he says as much in the DR. Jessie eventually beats Natalie at the chess game, although she won't accept defeat. Jessie taunts her all way down into the backyard for losing, but she's not letting it go. "Who lost last season?" she asks. "Who won to get him in this season?" Jessie's response to being owned by her is to decide to see himself in her. Okay, then.

Jessie and Natalie have an HoH room 1-on-1, when she agrees that Ronnie and the Brains could be an asset. Downstairs, Ronnie is also selling his clique-mate Chima on the alliance. She seems to be buying it. The two of them head upstairs for a four-way meeting, and Natalie suggests making Ronnie a pawn to cover up the Athlete/Brain alliance. Ronnie doesn't love that idea, because he knows his Big Brother history, and the frequency with which pawns have gone down in flames. So he suggests Michele instead. With clique-mates like Ronnie, who needs other cliques?

Jessie calls everyone down to the living room, wearing an aqua tank top and pink tights with black stars on them. Dashing! Reading from a card, he gives them the good news/bad news. Food competitions as we know them are over, but this is going to be a "Have/Have-Not" competition. Of course, it requires them to get dressed in white spandex workout wear (Except the Athletes, who dress like Jessie, because they're this week's "in-crowd" and thus get to sit out the competition) and paint themselves in their team colors. When they go out into the back yard, which is decorated like a disco, those colors light up like they're in a Wham! video. This is basically a plumbing challenge; working in their own lane, each team has to make colored liquid flow through pipes and into other pipes formed into the letters that spell "HAVE." The last team to finish will be the "have-nots," forced to endure the most "grueling conditions in Big Brother history." More grueling than sharing a house with Jessie?

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Big Brother




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