He's really not. In fact, Hardy sits in the Big Blue Chair of the Man with the Plan and says that this is simply the beginning of his reign of terror. Nothing better than a good reign of terror, I always say.

Will's wearing a headband, to hold back his giant, curly halo. A headband. Oh, excuse me, he's wearing Mike's baby blue visor backwards. Because that's better. Sweet God. He says that whoever doesn't get voted out of the house is "going to come back and stab you in the heart twice as hard." Whatever, Foolio.

Tuesday: I saw this episode late, because I went to see *NSYNC at the Rose Bowl instead of staying home to watch it live. You're surprised? I just told you I was twelve.

Will and Shannon cuddle on the Big Blue Chair of the Match Made in Hell. Will admits that he loves Shannon. Shannon pats him and says, "That's sweet." Will's not going to rally people to evict Shannon in order to keep himself in the house. He gets all weepy as Shannon intimates that she's willing to leave the house, anyway, and starts to ask Shannon about his leaving voluntarily when she gets evicted. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are not ducking out like voluntary, frigging -- no. He's the coward, not us," Shannon barks. This is intercut with a shot of Hardy brushing his teeth. This is important. Make a note. Shannon, in the Diary Room, tells Will that he needs to stay in the house and make Hardy's life hell. "You stay here and kick his ass, hypothetically speaking," Shannon says, using finger quotes around "hypothetically." In other words, she really wants him to kick his ass? I don't think she even means "hypothetically." I think she meant, like, "metaphorically." Or something. Because it doesn't make sense to use...man, why am I even trying to parse Shannon's dialogue? You know she spent most of her high school English classes sitting in the back, flashing her tits at other girls' boyfriends and twirling her bubble gum around her index finger. Shannon says that Will needs to be the one to stay in the house because he's "a guy" and, therefore, more intimidating to Hardy. Yeah, I'm sure Hardy the bouncer is scared of little Will. Shannon continues, saying that the only reason Hardy is intimidated by her is "because he can't have [her]." Also, because she's a sociopath. "Chill Town, we have it under control," Shannon tells Will, who's starting to seem a bit freaked out. "I love you," Will says pleadingly. Shannon flashes a wide, fake smile. "Awww, I know you do, and you know how I feel about you," she says. Notice that she still hasn't verbally reciprocated his feelings? Poor Will. I think he really has feelings for Shannon, and I suspect she's just using his ass. I still sort of feel for him. Sort of.