Big Brother
Too Bad, So Sad

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
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Smell Ya Later, Shannon!

America's Choice time. Again, with the boring. Again, with the lots of words for little payoff. Basically, the housemates get a toaster, and even the people who complain about the toaster enjoy their toasted foodstuffs.

Hardy's getting cranky. I think the pressure of being HoH and running Project Destroy Chill Town has gotten to him. He's all snappish and crabby whilst working out.

Speaking of working out, Nicole and Shannon have started exercising together, with Shannon acting as Nicole's trainer. Shannon seems really interested in helping Nicole improve her body, and she does act legitimately helpful. She'd be a great trainer, I think, because she's clearly in awesome shape, and all of her clients would be too scared of her satanic wrath ever to miss a session.

Will and Shannon are schoomping outside when Shannon sees a Black Widow spider and shrieks like a maniac. "That's totally your nickname in the house," Will says, "Black Widow!" Shannon doesn't find this nearly as amusing as I do.

For some reason, Hardy laughs at Shannon as she walks through the bathroom, swathed in towels. She is incensed. I wonder if Hardy's purposely baiting her. I don't know. Anyway, Shannon scampers back to the room she shares with Mike and Will and tells them she's going to get back at Hardy by using his toothbrush to clean the toilet. Mike laughs uproariously.

So Shannon skips back into the bathroom, takes Hardy's electric toothbrush, uses it to scrub all over the inside of the toilet, and laughs evilly to herself. She stumbles out of the water closet and snickers uncontrollably. Moments later, Big Brother calls her into the Diary Room. She rolls her eyes and prances off with Will.

I'd like to take this moment to apologize publicly to Satan for ever comparing him to Shannon. I don't think Satan would stoop to using someone's toothbrush to clean a toilet. Maybe he'd arrange for a person's toothbrush to burst into flames while he was using it, but at least that has some pyrotechnical flair. In the Diary Room, Shannon makes the least apologetic apology ever, ever, ever. Her plan is to clean the base of Hardy's toothbrush and tell him the top is broken. "It will never happen again," Shannon chortles.

Hardy sits in the Big Blue Chair of Smart Cookies and says that he doesn't buy Shannon's story. She told him she broke the toothbrush while reaching for something, but there is nothing near his toothbrush that she could possibly need. He also notes that the head of the toothbrush isn't actually even broken. "[Shannon]'s like the little kid who takes her ball and goes home because the game isn't going her way. It's asinine," he spits.

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Big Brother

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