Big Brother
Too Bad, So Sad

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Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
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Smell Ya Later, Shannon!

I'm over it. Over in the HoH, Hardy's putting the keys in the Box of Fate. No one should assume they're safe, he says, "because you cross [him], and you'll be at the top of [his] hit list, no matter who you are."

So, naturally, everyone is all nervous about the nominations and shit. Mike and Hardy talk about their prospective deal: Hardy repeats that it's a one-time-only thing. He's putting this week in Mike's hands. "If you tell me no, I'm going to put you up. If you say yes, I won't," he says. Later, Mike tells Chill Town about the deal on the table. They talk animatedly, but it all comes down to the fact that they have no idea what Hardy's doing or what any of this means. But they don't like it. Whatever it is.

Scary Night Vision: Kent and Bunky speculate that Hardy has the hots for Krista, and that it's affecting his strategy. "You think Hardy's thinking with his lower brain?" Bunky gasps. "He may be," Kent responds thoughtfully. "You're a straight man. Talk to him! Smack him out of it!" Bunky suggests.

At long last, Mike informs Hardy that he can't go through with the deal. He offers, in fact, to sacrifice himself, and go up against, say, Bunky, and offers Hardy immunity from Chill Town in exchange. Hardy doesn't "want a package deal." Mike half-heartedly tries to convince Hardy that it's in his best interest to get rid of some "more likable" people, instead of the Chill Towners. "If it comes down to you and a likable person..." Mike says, and grimaces. "Are you saying I'm not likable?" Hardy asks. "No, you're likable," Mike backtracks. "There are just more likable people in the house." At last, Mike admits that making a deal with Hardy seems disloyal to the other Chill Towners, and he has to decline out of respect for them. "That's cool," Hardy says. They shake hands manfully.

It's nomination time. Blee blee blah, Hardy goes over the rules for the ritual for, like, the billionth time, and then, finally, we get down to action. Hardy makes the traditional "no hard feelings/this is a game" speech, which is such a giant crock of shit. There are so totally hard feelings. Surprising no one, Hardy nominates Shannon and Will, a.k.a Satan and her Pool Boy. Shannon has this incredibly creepy, scary, faux smile on her face throughout the entire ritual, and it's making my blood run cold. Cold! For his part, Will just looks sort of sad and tired. Hardy explains that he never really clicked with Shannon, and says that he nominated Will for pretty much the same reason. He hopes they understand this isn't personal, he says. Shannon seriously looks like she's about to burst into flames. Hardy sort of nods and starts to go. "Wow, that was about the cowardest [sic] thing I've ever seen in my entire life," Shannon announces to the table. Hardy comes loping back. "Is there an explanation for that, while I'm here, so I can hear it?" he asks. Shannon points out that she and Will are the "two closest people in the house." Hardy just stares at her "What does that have to do with me?" he asks. "Nothing. Just what I said. You can take it however you want," Shannon says, still smiling like Ted Bundy. "Okay, fine," Hardy shrugs and almost laughs and leaves. Everyone else looks exhausted, as Shannon rubs Bunky's back and carefully tells everyone she's so, so happy for them. Will winks at her. Remember how I said I felt bad for them? Yeah, screw that.

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Big Brother

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