Big Brother
Too Bad, So Sad

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
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Smell Ya Later, Shannon!

Big Blue Chair of Pure Evil. Shannon says that "Hardy is intimidated by [her], but [she's] going to make him cry before the end of the week is over. His actions basically say, 'I'm jealous, I'm a coward.'" I suspect that Shannon doesn't exactly know what the word "coward" means. I honestly don't get how what he's doing is cowardly. I mean, I don't even get Shannon's (obviously flawed) logic.

Out on the patio, a bunch of the houseguests are playing cards. Shannon's in the process of crossing the yard with her trusty jump rope when Hardy comments, off-handedly, that he feels bloated. "That's what yellow does to you!" Shannon chirps. Hardy makes a "huh?" face, and asks Shannon to explain herself "You know...coward? Yellow? That kind of thing," she says, again with the creepy forced cheer. "What's your damage with this 'coward' thing?" Hardy asks. "Why am I a coward?" Shannon calmly begins skipping rope. "Because of your jealousy of Will and I [sic]," she explains. Hardy can't understand what he could possibly be jealous of. Again, cowardliness and jealousy aren't really related, Shannon. Also, I think you might mean "envious." Also, it's "Will and me." Shannon explains that Hardy is reacting to his "lack of ability to find a relationship" by breaking up the Greatest Love the World Has Ever Known. Hardy wonders whether Shannon would think him a coward if he'd nominated just one of them. Shannon says no. Hardy points out that one of them would have been leaving in that situation, too. Shannon's all, exactly! That's why he's a coward! Hardy's face is so perplexed. He sarcastically tells Shannon that she makes "complete sense."

"The rationale is simply not there. It's not logical," Hardy says of Shannon's accusations. He knows Shannon is lashing out, he says, "but she's making herself look like an idiot." Sing it, Hardy.

Kent sits in the Big Blue Chair of Truth and Justice and says, "Chill Town is a wolf pack of vain, arrogant, immature narcissists." Right on!

Monica purses her lips. "I think Chill Town thought their shit didn't stink," she says.

Diary Room. Hardy explains the beauty of his immunity offer to Mike. Because he didn't nominate Mike, Hardy thinks Will and Shannon will suspect that Mike took the deal and put the two of them up on the chopping block. That's pretty clever of Hardy, although part of his plan is contingent on Will's and Shannon's putting two and two together, and that's seeming less and less likely with each episode. In the living room, Hardy warns Nicole, Kent, and Bunky that they had better not tell anyone in Chill Town that Mike refused the immunity offer. "If any word of this gets back to anybody, I swear to God, I'll cut the nuts off the person I hear it from," Hardy says. "I don't have nuts," Bunky says. "I have nuts, don't think I don't," Nicole snarks. Man, Hardy's totally got them in line, doesn't he? They're all in "jump"/"how high?" mode. I'm beginning to think that Hardy's like the hardbody love child of Richard Hatch and Colby WhateverColby'sLastNameWas. ["Donaldson." -- Wing Chun] Good-looking, yet fully dressed, and comes complete with all the master plan-y plots.

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Big Brother

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