Erika is HoH, and a number of people are nervous. But before they get too nervous, they can relax with a food competition in which there are bee costumes and dry humping. Couldn't be more serious. And most of the humping is courtesy of George, who really, really wants to be able to get off slop for a week. The house successfully wins a bunch of rewards for itself, including a promised trampoline. I love Will on a trampoline, so I can't wait. Speaking of Will, he's in fine form this week as he decides to romance a camera in the back yard, and he proceeds to tell it how much he loves it, flirt with it, beg it not to leave him, break up with it, and then come back and try to make everything okay again. It sounds stupid, but it's funnier than 95% of intentional television comedy. Erika winds up nominating Janelle and George, which Will chalks up to Mike's crazy romancing powers. That is possibly more upsetting than the dry humping.
George and Janelle are on the block, but there's still a veto competition to get through, and as much as Danielle keeps seeking reassurance from Erika, machinations are underway to remove her from the game. Unsurprisingly, Janelle wins another midway-at-the-State-Fair veto competition, and she takes herself off the block. When Erika breaks it to Danielle that she may nominate Danielle instead of Will, Danielle completely decompensates, and before you know it, she's pretty much gone wackadoo, all stomping around the house and ringing the HoH doorbell endlessly. She piles on the guilt, and the "I trusted you," which sounds really strange after all her "I hope he understands it's just a game" comments about people like Marcellas and Kaysar. Ultimately, Will and Mike get their way again, and Danielle goes on the block. In other news, the houseguests are visited as part of their "Christmas In August" party by Neil Patrick Harris, a well-known reality-show fan who seems almost as happy to see Will as Will is to see him. If you've ever wanted to know whether Will had a mushy spot in his hard, black heart, it turns out that he does. And it's Neil Patrick Harris. Go figure!
The show barrels through an entire week's worth of "action" in one episode, beginning with the 3-0 eviction of Danielle. She holds it together in the Chenterview, although you can kind of tell she wants to beat someone's ass. Then, Janelle becomes HoH in yet another trivia competition, and after spending about three minutes yapping with Will, she nominates Erika and George. But then there's a rope-untangling PoV competition that Erika manages to win, so Mike goes up on the block. In the end, Janelle and Will both vote to evict George, so the final four are Mike, Will, Janelle, and Erika. So let me get this straight: Two guys out of fourteen go into a house, known to be not only aligned with each other, but completely untrustworthy, diabolical, and disloyal. One of them wins HoH once and veto once, and the other one never wins HoH or veto, and they still both wind up in the final four. It really is a little bit surprising.
Previously: The house decided to get rid of James, which actually means Mike and Will decided to get rid of James, which actually means Will decided to get rid of James, which actually means Will's Eviltron-3000 chip did the relevant calculations and concluded that it wanted to get rid of James. There was a beep, and James's fate was sealed. This displeased Danielle, who vowed that she would take down Will and Mike. Danielle also appeared to be turning into a puffier, sadder, more desperate version of herself, which was not good news. Erika's decision to continue making out with Mike was not only not good news, it was such very bad news that it seemed like it needed its own catchy title on cable news networks, like "Crisis In The Nether Regions," and a little crawl explaining that it often takes weeks for the itch to develop after exposure. ("Rash On! Apply directly to Mike 'Boogie.' Rash On! Apply directly to Mike 'Boogie.' Rash On!...")
The credits make me sad, because as much as I don't like Marcellas, no one deserves to be immortalized leaving the house in a peach tux and a giant wig, looking like he just got here from The Gong Show. Where he was gonged. And where he was a woman dressed as himself.
In blue and white, as the piano tinkles, James is evicted for the third time (live, in the previouslys, and now). George DRs that he has to "salute" James for being such an "awesome, awesome competitor." Erika agrees that she liked James, but she found him "so dangerous" in terms of the game. Will explains to us that tonight's vote was the breakup of the Legion Of Doom. He says he never really trusted James, and he had to get him out.
Then we are in color, and it is Day 53. Fifty-three days those people have been without contact with anyone but each other. If it's possible to die of irritation, that's what would happen to me. That's why I couldn't do it. That, and the fact that they have missed half a season of Project Runway. Erika hugs Danielle, who doesn't respond, but just stands there like she's the catatonic sister in a Tennessee Williams play. In the DR, Danielle says that James shouldn't have left, because she trusted him. Danielle is suffering from a bad case of using the words "he shouldn't have" where she means "I wish he hadn't." Mike says that there are all these high stakes, because everybody realizes that they could be next. Janelle, of course, just wants you to know that she didn't feel bad, because James went after her first by asking George to nominate her. Which we never saw happen, but I'm sure her word is good. After all, she wasn't there; she ought to know. James's picture turns to black and white.