Did the houseguests win a choice between veggies and a slop pass? They did. And now, they have to conference over that choice. Of course, George wants the slop pass desperately. They all try to make him think they're going to go for the veggies, but when they're called upon to actually decide, they all yell, "SLOP PAAASS!" It's a little bit cute, actually, and George is enormously excited. I think they all know that eating slop all summer would truly, truly suck. Do they get to choose between fruit and a five-star dinner? They do, and they choose the dinner. Do they get booze in return for giving up the pool table? Did I even know they had a pool table? Anyway, they do, and of course, they would all rather have alcohol than a pool table. Or a house. Or oxygen. "The only thing we can really eat this week is meat and beer," Will explains. "It's kind of like the Atkins Diet for alcoholics." Oh, Will, an Atkins joke? That's so rickety and old. Please don't make a joke about Arsenio Hall or Tickle Me Elmo. "We're going to be drunk and skinny," Erika says. "And that might not be a bad thing." Well, for her maybe, since it just means she'll be drunk. George belly-flops one more time into the pollen for everyone's amusement. This show just got weirder, which is...not easy. And very, very soon, it's going to get weirder, so hang on tight.
Later, Mike and Will are...playing pool! Isn't this the first time I've noticed the pool table? I guess it's true what they say: you only appreciate things when you're about to trade them away for a supply of beer. It's the same reason I always undervalued my best friend until this week. (Just kidding! The offer wasn't nearly sweet enough!) Will is telling Mike to try to influence Erika to nominate Danielle. Mike doesn't think that it's likely, but Will is trying to get Mike to turn up the showmance skills. Will, in the DR: "Am I really putting my future in Mike Boogie's lovemaking ability?" He scratches his head. "This might not be pretty." Hey, at least you're not Erika.
Later, extreme sax music takes us to the backyard, where...we are not visiting Mike and Erika, thank God. Instead, we are looking at the weirdest thing Will has ever done. He has found the camera on a pole that looks down on the backyard, and he has walked right up to it and put his face into it. So this entire sequence is Will, looking up into a camera that's directly above him, suffering that distortion business that happens when you're about an inch from the camera lens. So he looks kind of fun-house-mirror to begin with.













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