Big Brother

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And when we come back, Julie says that when the evicted couple tries to leave, three things will happen. 1) The front doors will lock. 2) The siren will go off. 3) The entire Big Brother house will fill with sarin nerve gas. Alas, I'm making up that last one. The actual third thing is that they'll both have to go back inside, whereupon the couples with SPLIT UP AND PLAY AS INDIVIDUALS FROM NOW ON. Which means we have as much as eight weeks left of this season.

FUCK! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

Now that Julie has given us this awful news, she turns the viewscreen back on to prepare everyone for the eviction. And it's Ryan and Allison, by a vote of 2-0. They think.

So everyone hugs roughly forever, and Allison goes for the door. It's locked. "Door, please," Ryan calls, and the siren goes off, as promised. Obviously Ryan and Allison are the happiest ones there. Julie gets back on with them to announce that they're not couples any more. Everyone is completely jazzed, except for Sharon, Joshuah, and of course Natalie. And ME. What this means that only Allison or Ryan will be leaving tonight. So now there's going to have to be another vote. Julie wonders to us who will be the first single houseguest evicted. As if we don't already know it's the one who's so excited you can see her uvula.

Julie gives Ryan and Allison one last chance to plead their cases. Ryan mumbles something, and Allison stands, tearfully begging to stay. Well, I doubt that changed anyone's mind.

Adam votes first, and in the Diary Room, he votes to evict Allison. Chelsia is next, and she votes the same way. Next comes Matt, and that's three votes for Allison. Sheila votes for Allison as well, so she's gone. But Natalie's and James's votes make it unanimous.

Julie's really giving that button a workout tonight. And she announces that Allison's been booted 6-0. Allison can't get out of there fast enough, dodging hugs from everyone but Sharon, who basically intercepts her. She leaves everyone behind, so they can commence freaking out over the new dynamic in various ways.

Julie's interview with Allison asks an obvious question: why pretend to have a fake relationship outside the house and make herself a target? Allison makes up something about how it was supposed to be a joke, and just got out of hand. She again says it wasn't her idea, and it wasn't her idea to end it (it was), but anyway, let's go to the farewell messages, which they must have taped in advance, probably with the producers making sure the houseguests addressed each individual member of the departing couple. Matt and Natalie say generic goodbyes, Joshuah lectures her about playing the gay card, and Sheila cries. Julie's last question for Allison is what was the best part. Allison says it was going in without a plan (no shit), and learning more about herself and other people. I learned a lot about Allison, too, and a lot of it wasn't very nice.

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Big Brother




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