Big Brother
Ups and Downs

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Go, Go, Jojo

For the third episode in a row, we see Willie and Joe's "fight" that resulted in Willie's ejection. That signals a segue into Julie's viewscreen Chenterview with the houseguests, who have been waiting in the living room. Julie asks Joe what was going through his mind during the altercation. Joe says he was wanting to protect himself, but wanted to tell Willie, "IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HEAT, STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN." Like it's something incredibly witty, he says this. Julie then turns to Ian, and asks what he was thinking when he was trying to break it up. Ian admits that he was worried, but wanted to keep everyone safe. Julie moves on to Shane, and plays them all a clip of the PoV competition, which everyone laughs and claps at like it's the funniest thing they've ever seen. It's tragic how starved for entertainment these people are.

We're then reintroduced to Dr. Will Kirby, as though anybody watching this doesn't know damn well that he was on Big Brother 2 and Big Brother All-Stars, and now supposedly does laser tattoo removal while wearing a suit and tie. Will says that Mike's doing well for his first time in the house without him, but is worried about Mike's ego getting in his way. I feel the same way, except for the "worried" part. Will's convinced that the other coaches are going to get steamrolled if they don't step it up, and proceeds to run down his opinions of them. "If Kermit the Frog and Ryan Seacrest had a baby, the baby would be Dan," which would be funny if either comparison were valid or made any sense. Will does agree with me that Dan's choice of team members had less to do with strategy than "the gravitational force of boobies." Will blames Britney for Willie's tailspin and eviction, and says that although Janelle is a strong competitor, he doubts her grasp of strategy, and says she's in danger of becoming a three-time loser. Will predicts that Ian will win, because he has a lot in common with Mike, who he says is a 40-year-old Ian. Then there's some cheap editing to make it look like Will and Mike are on the phone together, in service of a cheap joke about Mike's Season 2 clothes.

Hard to believe, but Julie's about to conduct what I think is the first private Chenterview of the season with the outgoing HoH. Frank's up in the HoH room, wearing his homemade "Julie Chen is my Homegirl" t-shirt, which they banter about before Julie gets on to business, namely how close he and Mike have gotten. Okay, that's not actually business, and Frank's answer isn't actually interesting. Julie then asks Frank if he's really willing to work with Shane or just playing him, and Frank says it's a bit of both. The final question is about Frank's alliance with Janelle's players, which Frank says is for real for now. Well, that was boring.

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Big Brother

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