Big Brother
Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 477 USERS: C+
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"Pretty" Is What It's About

Then, for what I think is the first time in the history of this show, we are literally subjected to video of watching paint dry. I'm hoping it's someone's idea of irony. Marcellas loves his gnome, of course, because it is his, and it is therefore superior to all other gnomes. Why wouldn't it be? Marcellas's gnome is superior in his mind. Marcellas's ass is superior. His bald head is superior. His belly button lint is superior. He is better than you, and don't you forget it. The veto is briefly discussed, and Jason talks in the DR about the fact that he wants himself or Danielle to have it, so they can decide whether to leave things alone or whether to (suspenseful burst of tension-building music!) put someone else -- also known as "Roddy" -- up.

And now the segment in which you learn that as vain as you may be aware that Marcellas is, he's vainer than that. No, really. He stares at himself in the mirror. He hits on himself in the bathroom. I'm sure he would go home with himself, but he's already hopelessly devoted to himself, so he doesn't want to make himself jealous. In the DR, he gets up, walks over to the mirrored wall, stares at himself, and sits back down, muttering, "I'm cute. Cute, cute, cute." I'm sorry, but what the hell? He explains in the DR that staring at himself is one of his favorite ways to pass the time, because he's "never ever disappointed." Is this where I say that I really don't think Marcellas is all that good-looking? I mean, he's all right, but...he's not going to be adorning any calendars on my particular walls. Never mind, though, because now it's time for him to rag on what everyone wears around the house. I wish I liked him more, because normally, I love this sort of thing so much. Somewhere along the line, though, I've lost the ability to be amused. At any rate, there are several things he finds thoroughly hateable this week. Danielle's black-and-pink swimsuit with the skirt (which I admit I also hate), Jason's underwear (which I don't really object to), Lisa's choker (which is dorky, but inoffensive), and a pair of pleated khakis that Roddy has. I'm not nearly enough of a fashion maven to have any idea what could be so offensive about khakis. Of course, Gerry is generally so ripe for ridicule that Marcellas can barely bring himself to bother, but he does hate the gym shoes Gerry wears on the glider. You know, while he's trying to lose weight and solve one of the other things Marcellas regularly ridicules him for. Shut up, Marcellas.

Big Brother

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