Big Brother
Washing Their Hands Of Gerry

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"Pretty" Is What It's About

And now the segment in which you learn that as vain as you may be aware that Marcellas is, he's vainer than that. No, really. He stares at himself in the mirror. He hits on himself in the bathroom. I'm sure he would go home with himself, but he's already hopelessly devoted to himself, so he doesn't want to make himself jealous. In the DR, he gets up, walks over to the mirrored wall, stares at himself, and sits back down, muttering, "I'm cute. Cute, cute, cute." I'm sorry, but what the hell? He explains in the DR that staring at himself is one of his favorite ways to pass the time, because he's "never ever disappointed." Is this where I say that I really don't think Marcellas is all that good-looking? I mean, he's all right, but...he's not going to be adorning any calendars on my particular walls. Never mind, though, because now it's time for him to rag on what everyone wears around the house. I wish I liked him more, because normally, I love this sort of thing so much. Somewhere along the line, though, I've lost the ability to be amused. At any rate, there are several things he finds thoroughly hateable this week. Danielle's black-and-pink swimsuit with the skirt (which I admit I also hate), Jason's underwear (which I don't really object to), Lisa's choker (which is dorky, but inoffensive), and a pair of pleated khakis that Roddy has. I'm not nearly enough of a fashion maven to have any idea what could be so offensive about khakis. Of course, Gerry is generally so ripe for ridicule that Marcellas can barely bring himself to bother, but he does hate the gym shoes Gerry wears on the glider. You know, while he's trying to lose weight and solve one of the other things Marcellas regularly ridicules him for. Shut up, Marcellas.

The next morning, it's veto competition time. Basically, all their gnomes are hung from strings in a row, and if you want to eliminate someone, you answer a question about him or her. If you answer it right, you cut the string that holds his or her gnome, the gnome breaks, and the person is eliminated. The short version of this is that if you can answer a question about someone of your choice, you can eliminate him or her from having the veto, but that's the gnomeless explanation, and a gnomeless world would be rather sad, don't you think? Anyway, Marcellas is rather horrified that his gnome, whose name is "Boo," is at risk of being broken into a million pieces. But as it turns out, Roddy and Marcellas have more in common than self-obsession -- when their gnomes drop, the gnomes survive the fall. Despite Marcellas's dramatic declarations that "Boo was in peril," when Danielle drops him, Boo just bounces on the ground. Ah, the resilience of garden gnomes. I'm sure it's a metaphor for something. It's a classic theme in literature, you know. In other news, Gerry met his wife at a nude beach. And thanks for that image, everyone. In the end, the POV goes to Jason, so presumably he can spend another day or two agonizing over whether to break the bonds of love and guilt tying him to Roddy and Danielle respectively.

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Big Brother

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