Big Brother
When Fat Janelle Met Saggy Dick

Episode Report Card
Joe R: D | Grade It Now!
When Fat Janelle Met Saggy Dick

In the living room, Eric cries to Jameka about how all the choices he's made in the game have somehow fucked him over. Almost as if those decisions are coming from a place that doesn't want Eric to win at all. Mysterious! He's trying to say that he cares about Jessica more than he cares about the game and it's upsetting to him that he may end up being her undoing. You mean after all that sucking up to Dick, gleefully co-signing his atrocious behavior and trying to score points with atrocious behavior of his own (towards Jen specifically) in the vain hope that America will like him better as Dick's lap toad...after all that, Eric still isn't going to be able to win the game and get the girl? Dammit, I know I left my sympathy around here somewhere, but I just can't seem to find it.

Okay, are you ready for something stupid? How about this: Jessica tells this empty-headed but still kind of funny story about her being in some Girl Scouts pageant-type thing (...I don't know) and answering a question about what she wants to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be the first woman President...or a waitress. Cute, right? Inoffensive. Dick takes it to the next Dick step and says, "The first female President...or a stripper." Crass, sure, but he doesn't even say the words "bloody asshole" so by his standards this a nursery rhyme. Anyhoo, Daniele takes it upon herself to do the two things she likes best: 1) making everything about her, and 2) whining about her dad. Daniele bitches that sheeeee's a waitress, and she doesn't apreeeeeciate her dad making comments like that. So then Dick ends up getting pissed and bitching her out for being such an unpleasant brat to him all the time. And you know, she is, but even so I cannot muster a single ounce of sympathy for Dick because why do you think she behaves that way? You know? Dick tries to make the claim that "everything" he says in the house earns him a rebuke from Daniele, which is fucking laughable considering how she essentially took up "standing idly by while my dad hurls violent and bigoted epithets at everyone" as an extracurricular activity for a solid month. This whole segment boils down, as all the Dick-Daniele segments do, to the fact that I really, strongly dislike both of them and couldn't care less about the status of their relationship.

Man...I forgot how quickly this show wears out its welcome once Labor Day rolls around. Sorry about that, you guys. In the future, I'll try to think of other things to say when the show sends me into fits of apathy.

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Big Brother




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