Big Brother
When Fat Janelle Met Saggy Dick

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When Fat Janelle Met Saggy Dick

America's Player. It's Tuesday, which means it's time for Eric to get a lame behavior-based task rather than a strategic task. This week? "Mimic the actions and words of the houseguest America has chosen." LAME! America has chosen Dick, which makes no damn sense at all, beyond the fact that I guess everybody likes Dick so much that now that want to see two people acting like he does. Furthermore, Eric goes about accomplishing this task in the most pussy way imaginable. The spirit of the task seemed to instruct Eric to essentially mock the intended target by aping their words and actions. The way Eric plays it, he just follows Dick around, copying his movements and repeating his words like he's playing that echo game from when you were eight years old. You know, the "Why do you keep repeating me?"/"Why do you keep repeating me?" game. It's so lame. Dick, of course, thinks it's hilarious, because he can be quite good natured when everything's coming up roses for him, game-wise. Eric pathetically DRs that Dick was a good choice for this task because Dick has "pranked" him numerous times (like all the times he threatened to kick his ass a month ago?), and this can only bring them closer together in a "shared moment of hilarity." It's just so sad the way Eric sucking up to Dick. Not just sucking up, but offering himself up on a platter to be ridiculed and humiliated all so Dick will like him. Case in point: Dick starts getting annoyed by the mimicking, so he starts flinging spoonfuls of cereal and milk at Eric's face. Eric, still mimicking but still so very afraid, opts not to fling cereal back at Dick, but to pantomime flinging empty spoonfuls. So Eric ends up covered in cereal and milk, nervously giggling and hoping this will finally get him that pledge pin he's been after. It's like if Lars Von Trier started making movies about fidgety little weasel guys instead of blonde women.

Dick and Daniele talk strategy in the yard. They know that with two votes and the veto, they can evict either Jameka, Jessica, or Eric on their own. Daniele notes that Jameka hasn't won anything, which is kind of stupid considering she hasn't been able to participate in half the competitions for the past month. She then hilariously tries to paint Eric's game-play as "dirty, deceitful, and manipulating," as opposed to her and her dad, who I guess have played clean or right or whatever the word is. They kept it real, yo! "I'm not the type of person in life who goes and screws people over," DRs Dick. I...haven't the energy to explain how stupid that is. Daniele's decision? They either have to screw Eric and Jess over...or not. Illuminating!

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Big Brother

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