Next, we check up with the evicted roommates, one of whom, Julie says, is "dealing with life-changing personal news she learned after leaving the house."

First up is Mike, working the bar in a completely dark and empty Belly, which is so pathetic. He admits that he's had a "rough time" adjusting to life out of the house, but that "it's been okay." In other words, people come into Belly and insult him, and when he's walking down the street, motorists throw things. He gives Nicole "mad kudos" for "playing the game," and then explains that he and Krusta are "still exploring how [they'll] fit into each other's lives." In other words, he wishes she would stop calling him. He's also landed a guest-starring role on Yes, Dear, that really awful CBS comedy that's in the hammock between The King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond and gets decent ratings only because people are too lazy to change the channel.

Shannon is next. Although I am tempted to revisit my position on Shannon, in light of the fact that she turned out, maybe, to be partially correct about Hardly, I decide against that the instant I see her posing in her white bikini on the beach. Still hate her. Shannon informs us that, in her spare time, she's been playing beach volleyball. Wow, that's challenging. She tells the camera that Monica is "a true person" and then gets to what she really enjoys: shit-talking. Not that there's anything wrong with that. She smarms that Hardly deserved the toothbrush incident, because he was a bully. Which he was. But we didn't know that then. "Call me cold, heartless, whatever, but look at yourself and don't judge me," she says. "Whatever," she finishes, with tears in her eyes. Aw, poor Shannon! People must be spitting on her and kicking her in the shins as she walks down the street. Or maybe she's been reading this site. Hey, Shannon, did you see how most people turned against Hardly, too? Good times. Anyway, re: Jim: Shannon admits they spent a whole week and a half together, talking about their relationship. Or, er, "talking." And she admits that she doesn't know what's happening with the whole Jim/Will conundrum. "Things happen, and it's hurtful, but I'm sorry," she says, and shrugs, as the editors flash an image of Will on the screen. Dude, did she just break it off with my funny, evil boyfriend, right there on national TV? Will! My apartment is twenty minutes from the CBS lot! Come on down! Cry on my shoulder! We can drive to Hermosa Beach and let the air out of Shannon's tires!