Big Brother
Will Is the Luckiest Boy In All The Land!

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Will Is the Luckiest Boy In All The Land!

Kent and his little American flag pin gets up and pulls out his key. "I vote for Will to win," he says solemnly. "This game pales in comparison to the anguish the American people have felt in the last few days since September 11th. I thought you played the game the best." People nod.

Nicole looks like she might cry as Sheryl gets up and says this is the hardest choice she's ever made. But she choose Will, and again pulls out the "he played the game the best" line. Will, realizing he's just won, smiles mildly. Nicole pats him on the arm. Julie reminds everyone they have to reveal each vote, and asks Monica to reveal hers. "It's on!" Will says. "Yes, it's on," Monica replies. "I told you it'd be on when I got back." She leans over and removes Will's key, and tells him she's not mad at him, she voted for him, and she loves him. "Congratu-damn-lations," she says. When she finishes speaking, Mike leaps on Will and starts humping him. Everyone gets up and the hugging and the laughing and the patting starts up again. When Will hugs Bunky, he tells him that he's going to give him some money to his charities. Bunky smiles. Julie announces that Jeff and Will's brother Ian are outside, and Nicole runs over Hardly in her psychotic attempt to return to her husband.

Jeff and Ian stand around in the yard. Jeff looks about a hundred years old, probably prematurely aged due to the stress of being married to Nicole. Ian? Still hot. Nicole flings herself on Jeff and sobs. Will tells Ian to "fuel up the jet, [they're] going to Vegas." People mill around.

Finally, Nicole and Will get to sit down and talk to Julie Chen. Both of them seem very calm. I think they're just happy the whole thing is over. While Will claims to be surprised by his win, Nicole says she knew she was toast after she heard the tough questions her former roommates lobbed at her on Tuesday. Julie asks Will what he plans to do with his money. He tells her that he really had fun on the show, and that he plans just to waste the money. Since this episode aired, however, Will has told the press that he plans to donate some of the cash to the September 11th relief funds. See, he isn't entirely made of stone! Nicole admits that Will did play a better game than she did, and swears that she wasn't really herself during the game. The "Real Nicole," she swears, is much nicer and not nearly as psychotic. On the other hand, Will says he was very much himself, just on a higher level. What everyone saw on television was Will at 10, while he usually functions at 5. Julie flutters her lashes at him, and tells him that the producers and crew all have favorite lies of his, and wonders what his own favorite lie is. "The time I got kicked out of the Air Force Academy for getting in a fight in the mess hall," Will begins. "I didn't get arrested at Disney World for beating up Goofy," he continues. "And I didn't kill someone with a piano wire and spent a year in juvenile detention. Sorry about that," he finishes. Next, Julie plays a little word-association game with them, asking them to pick one word to describe each of their former housemates. On the whole, Will and Nicole are very complimentary, although it's quite funny to see Will struggling not to call Hardly "gay" and instead dubbing him "competitive." Will also calls Kent an "American hero" because "he voted for [Will]." Finally, Julie asks them to describe each other. Nicole calls Will "incredibly intelligent," and Will claims to have "nothing but wonderful things to say about Nicole." Finally, Julie congratulates both of them on their victories. Everyone smiles pretty for the camera.

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Big Brother

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