Nicole is called into the Diary Room to talk about the upcoming eviction. Her pants are actually really cute; low slung, red, held up by a black belt with a sparkly buckle. Funky pants notwithstanding, Nicole is a wreck, as usual. In the Diary Room, she complains for hours as Julie bites the inside of her cheek to keep from falling asleep. She complains about Jeff, and says she's "worried about the nation," and that it's been so hard to support Monica (like Monica isn't having a horrible time herself), yada yada yada it's been a terrible weekcakes. Well, that's true. Everyone had a terrible week. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that pretty much everyone I know has had a rotten summer. But how rude is it to complain about how hard it is to be supportive of Monica, when Monica's the one who lost a loved one? Way to count your blessings, Nicole. Anyway, Nicole tells Julie that she didn't think she'd make it this far, although she thought she'd maybe make it to the middle point of the game. She admits that halfway through her stay in the house, she got sort of carried away with all the strategic aggressive backstaberry, but now she just feels really emotional. She's really nervous, she says, and she feels like she's going to vomit. Julie expresses no sympathy, but just sends her back to the living room to kick one of her housemates out on his or her ass.
So, back in the living room, Nicole starts in with the faux crying and sobs that this is an "ethical battle," that she thinks Monica is "amazing," and that she has "great admiration and respect for [Monica]." Nicole tells Will that he is "sometimes Beelzebub," but that he has "redeemable qualities." Where can I redeem them? 7-11? I'd like to redeem me some of that funny, evil Doctor Will, that's all I know. Nicole reminds Will that he's her nemesis. But she has to take into account her vow to Jeff to bring home the money. Therefore, she says, she needs to evict Monica. Cue the fake-ass tears. "Don't cry, Nicole," Monica says calmly, getting out of her chair. "This is just one of my journeys. I knew this, darling, so I'm not surprised. You're very competitive. This is about you winning. And that's all it is. So, it's not personal, darling," she says. Will stands up behind Monica, who is still talking. "I played a damn good game," she says, "I turned this place out. And I'm still gonna win. I never lost once. I'm not losing right now. I'm a bigger winner than you are and in my own life. So, no, baby. But I hope you spend the money the right way, because you got to remember, how you get money, you got to remember how you going to spend it, because that's the way it goes. So if you feel good in your heart about what you've done, then God bless you, and I wish you the best of damn luck." I can't improve on that, people. Monica stiffly hugs Nicole. "Very well said," Julie Chen lies. "Don't do that, don't get weepy like that," Monica tells the still-sobbing Nicole, as she starts for the door. "Come on, y'all," she says. I pause the tape here, and it's brilliant: Monica looks pissed, Nicole is crying, and behind them, Will has a gigantic smirk on his face. It's classic. I start the tape up again, and Will smothers his grin, as Nicole hopes that Monica understands why she was evicted. "I am not shocked, because I know who you are and I know how you roll," Monica tells her. "So I'm not surprised. I would have been surprised if you wouldn't have. You've got some things you need to work on, and you're going to be fine with them, but you're going to need to deal with this one for a very long time. Now, I'm not being mean and I'm not being negative, but I'm just telling you, that's just how it goes. Now, you have not shocked me again in this game. You've done exactly what I thought you would do. Okay?" Nicole says nothing in response. Monica turns to Will. "Hey, baby, it's on!" she tells him. "When we're out of here, it's on. When we come back to vote, baby, it's on!" Will grins and hugs her. Then Monica tells the two of them to be cool, and bails. After the door closes behind her, Will turns to Nicole, who's still snuffling. He hugs her.