The editors insert a shot of Will admiring his shirtless reflection in a mirror. He preens shamelessly. "My God! Half-man, half-amazing!" he crows. Will's half a man, all right.

Back at the patio table, Nicole tells Bunky and Autumn that Will, Shannon, Mike, and Justin are "an evil alliance," which is so true. They are, I think, also doomed to be an ineffectual alliance, since everyone hates them and they don't have a majority vote. I guess that remains to be seen, however.

In the Diary Room, Bunky says that some of the housemates are banding together to vote out Sheryl, so that Nicole can help them get rid of Will. "Will is being a dictator. And he has to go," Bunky says.

Next is a long montage of Sheryl, designed to prove to the viewing audience that she's hot, hot, hot. We get it. She's good-looking. She's a hot mom. She's smoking hot. She's wearing a thong bikini. Dude, I had no idea thong bathing suits were so prevalent: I rarely see one on the beach, and I live in Los Angeles, World Center for Body-Conscious Bathing Suits. Actually, L.A. might run second to, like Miami, there. I don't know. Anyway, Will repeats that he wants to have sex with Sheryl. He and Mike lie in the hammock and talk about how hot, hot, hot, hot, hot Sheryl is. "The Mrs. Robinson episode," Mike says. "Coo coo ca choo!" Will purrs. Pigs. Sheryl's son is, like, hiding his face in a pillow right now. No kid wants to hear that people want to bang his mom.

More yammering to the effect that everyone likes Sheryl, even if they're planning to vote her off the island...Er, "out of the house." In the Diary Room, Sheryl comments that, eventually, even people who are well-liked are going to have to go.

In the Big Blue Chair of Homophobes Who Don't Even Look That Bad Anymore Compared to the Rest of the Psychopaths in this House, Kent points out that Sheryl is a big threat to people who want to win the game. He doesn't like her that much, anyway; he thinks she's really passive-aggressive.

Bunky needs to stop whispering in the Diary Room. Speak up, sweetie. None of us can hear you. He tells the camera that he sees Sheryl as a big threat to his plan of winning all the cash.

Kent's Diary Room: Kent says that "some of these guys" (a.ka. Justin, Will, Mike, and Shannon) think they're really controlling the game, but in reality...not so much.

Okay, so Will is the most vain person alive. Seriously. We see all the housemates getting ready in the morning, and none of them seems unusually obsessed with his or her appearance. But Will? He's insane. The man plucks his hairline, so that it's symmetrical. He plucks his eyebrows. He examines the symmetry of his face. He curls his eyelashes. He brushes his brows with a toothbrush.