Big Brother
Would You Get Mad If I Killed You?

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Would You Get Mad If I Killed You?

Outside in the hammock, Will and Shannon have a nauseating discussion about whether she ought to kiss him. Will claims that he's never kissed a girl in his life, because they always make the moves on him. Then he tells her that he'll probably be in People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People issue next year. And that 500,000 fourteen-year-old girls are yelling at their TVs right now, exhorting Shannon to kiss him! Kiss him! 500,000 women are yelling at the TV right now, but I think they're using the word "kick," rather than "kiss."

Storage room. More flirting, straddling, and neck kissing from Shannon and Will. Oh, just do it, and shut up about it and churn out tons of little evil babies for your unholy army. Eventually, Will lies on top of Shannon and tells her he feels nauseous. That makes two of us. They laugh, and then she stares at him with her cold dead eyes and tells him that she has "zero power. The only power [she] has is what's [hers]." Huh? Whatever. These two deserve one another.

Later, in their bed, Shannon and Will undertake a whole lot of undercover rustling. I think...yeah, I don't know what just happened there, but I think some, um, oral pleasure was involved. Ew. Bad mental image. Will sits in the Big Blue Chair of the Recently Orally Pleasured. "I do have a message for her boyfriend at home," he says. "He's outta here!" At home, Shannon's boyfriend is all, "I have a message for you, Will. I'm going to hunt you down, and kill you like a dog in the street. A dog in the street!"

Autumn tells the camera that if Nicole somehow manages to stay in the house, it's going to be "war." Will tells the camera that he's scared of Nicole. As well he should be, I think. Mike is under the impression that Nicole is doomed. Sheryl says some stuff and blinks a lot. Finally, Nicole tells us that if she survives the vote, she's going to kick some major ass.

Thursday. We're told that an ass has indeed been kicked: right out of the house. Not through the vote, either. Julie Chen tells us that Justin was expelled for "violence and physical intimidation." And, also, because he's a complete and utter mental case. Okay, can I take a sidebar here to say that Julie's hair looks really cute, and I like her semi-transparent, shirred pink top? It's true. She looks cute! Anyway, Julie says some stuff about the houseguests being concerned for their own safety, and from what I've heard about Justin's behavior from the live feed watchers, I don't think that's an idle fear. The guy's a complete psycho freak show.

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Big Brother




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