Big Brother
Would You Get Mad If I Killed You?

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
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Would You Get Mad If I Killed You?

Night Vision Camera Time. Mike (I think, although I don't know why he isn't in his HoH room) leans over and tells Kent that he thinks Bunky is gay. Will listens to them talk. Kent starts yammering some more about how close he and Justin are, and says some more stuff about his stupid plans for alliance. Bunky overhears this entire conversation. Mike is totally dividing and conquering. Well, he's trying to conquer.

Bunky's working his own alliance -- or trying to -- telling us that he thinks "six women and a gay guy" would be unstoppable. He mentions this to an amenable Nicole in the storage room. Nicole has no reaction whatsoever in this scene to Bunky's being gay, which makes me think he's already come out to her.

Or, she's just preoccupied. See, Nicole is having issues getting along with her fellow roommates, especially Mike, or, as she calls him, "Slim Shady." Heh. Turns out Mike doesn't think much of Nicole, either. "The first person I would nominate is Nicole," he tells the camera. "The second person I would nominate? Is Nicole." The editors cue up a montage of Nicole being loud and obnoxious: beating something on the kitchen counter with what looks like a meat tenderizer, waving her ass in the camera, yelling about her tampons. Shannon says that Nicole is a neat freak. Kent snips that he hates Nicole. I'm sure she's crying tears in her beer over his rejection. On the other hand, both Autumn and Sheryl seem to like Nicole a lot. Back in the Big Blue Chair of Tearful Commentary, Mike snips that he really wishes Nicole would be quiet, because "the house isn't that big." Hey, Mike, Kettle called while you were out and asked me to give you a message. Apparently, you're black. Then Mike performs yet another rap, this time about the fact that he's going to have to kick someone out of the house. Or something. I have no idea what he's talking about half the time, actually.

Apparently, the houseguests are spending a lot of time in and around the pool, in various stages of undress. We learn that Nicole once got scabies "from being in a community-type water thing" (also known as "the hot tub at the community center"). Thanks so much for sharing, Nicole. Blah, blah, everyone likes the pool, but Nicole is scared of it, due to her unfortunate scabies incident. She tells us that she's trying to get over her phobia.

Next, Mike tells us that he and Will decided it would be fun to make each of the guys put on a woman's bathing suit for the next challenge. Because drag, like Mike's sideways visor, is so hip, so now, so 1992. For some reason, none of the women seems to have a problem with Hardy, Will, Mike, and Justin stretching out their bathing suits. Mike comments that one thing he enjoys about this group is that everyone is "open to having fun." Whatever, Mike. My eyes are bleeding from watching you shake your ass in poor Krista's cute handkerchief-top Hawaiian two-piece.

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Big Brother

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