Big Brother
Would You Get Mad If I Killed You?

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
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Would You Get Mad If I Killed You?

Later, Bunky and Monica are talking in the storage room, as Mike presses his ear against the wall and eavesdrops from within his fancy, private HoH room. Bunky tells Monica that Kent is a homophobe. "He'll get over it," Monica stridently responds. Bunky tells her that he's concerned Kent will talk the rest of the men into voting him out of the house. Mike asks Bunky and Monica (through the wall) to come into his room. They look at each other and scamper on in there. In the Blue Chair of Patronizing Condescension, Mike says that he felt like he was "doing Bunky a favor-slash-service in letting him know where the other guys were at." Okay, two things: (a) I hate it when people actually say "slash" like that, and (b) my absolute pet peeve is people ending a sentence with the word "at." It's unnecessary, and it's not grammatically correct. Anyway, Bunky comes out to Mike. Mike's, all, I knew. Monica's all, I knew, too. Mike doesn't care. Neither does Monica. In the Blue Chair of Monica Rocking My World, she says that she totally has Bunky's back, "because he deserves nothing but respect." Bunky tells Mike that if he gets voted out, he wants it to be because he's "an asshole," not because he's gay. Mike perches on his throne -- er, "his bed" -- and says that Bunky will not be voted out because of his sexuality. Because Mike controls the world. I think that being HoH has totally gone to Mike's head, because there is no way he can control who votes for whom, and why -- not at this point.

Okay, all that heavy stuff must be over now, because the music editors have cued up the Zany Tuba Music of Impending Hijinks. This music is horrible. Where is Mark Snow when I need him? Anyway, it turns out that, in addition to being homophobic, and sexist, Kent also snores like a buzz saw and no one near him can get any sleep. If I lived in that house, I would just stroll over to his bedroll and kick him in the head. Not hard enough to cause any permanent damage.

Next, Hardy strolls around the house in his boxer briefs, as Mike says something about a "pretty-boy backlash," by which I think he means that he's jealous that all the ladies are into beefcake instead of, you know, him. Because I don't see any backlash from anyone in the house other than Mike here. This cues up a montage of Hardy working out. Everyone in the viewing audience with a soft spot for the hard body type slips and falls in a puddle of their own spittle. Then, my favorite part of the entire Saturday episode: Hardy tosses some chlorine in the hot tub, then turns around to walk back into the house, and steps in a dip in the lawn or something, and totally bites it, falling right on his face with an "oof!" Heh. Nothing's funnier than people falling down. Mike voice-overs that he likes Hardy, but that he thinks he's expendable. Also, he doesn't know whether he wants to "look at that sweaty body all summer."

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Big Brother

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