Willie comes out of the DR in a green blazer and straw boater hat to lead everyone out to the backyard. Which has been faked up to look like the cheapest horse-race course ever, so the houseguests can sit on the bleachers wearing hats like they're at Ascot. Ashley takes the whole situation at its word, of course. Russell calls out the coaches, who are wearing jockey outfits and, even more ridiculously, stuffed horses around their waists. Willie explains that the coaches will compete in heats, one-on-one. The first "randomly" selected matchup is Mike and Britney, who will start at opposite sides of the plastic track (which is heavily slicked up with water and dish soap), and run in the same direction trying to catch each other, negotiating big padded hurdles across the track. A coach wins the heat by yanking off his or her competitor's tail.
When first the race starts, it only lasts a few laps before Mike catches up with Britney and nabs her tail, despite the much smaller Britney's ability to slide effortlessly under the hurdles. The short uphill stretch appears to be her downfall. The next heat is Dan and Janelle. Dan has gamed this out in his head, realizing that if he wins and saves one of his two players, the other one is going to be that much more vulnerable. So he's going to throw the competition, which was always one of his favorite strategic moves during his season anyway. He pretends to get stuck trying to climb that same slippery hill that screwed Britney, and Janelle is only too happy to charge up behind him and take him out on the first lap. "Whether or not they believed I threw it or not really depends on how stupid these players are," he DRs. That leaves Mike and Janelle for the final heat. That goes on for a while until Mike wins, with the attendant gloating. Now Mike gets to pick one of his three people to get immunity, and after making a speech, Mike saves... Ian. He DRs that Jenn has "stepped up her social game," and Frank is the most popular guy in the house, so choosing Ian was a no-brainer. Willie breaks the news that their decisions aren't over: each coach will have to pick one of their players to be a Have-Not for the week. Ooh, ouch; I just assumed it was going to be one whole team. This is actually somewhat less boring. Cringing, Britney picks Shane, Dan names Danielle, Janelle picks Ashley (despite LOTS OF YELLING from Joe in the DR), and Mike does whatever the reverse is of softening the blow for Ian by consigning him to the Have-Not room for his week of immunity.













Comments