Big Brother
Zing Us a Zing, You're the Zingbot

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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On the Reservation

Wil approaches Danielle for a little chat to get her on his side. Which he does by boring her with his life story. The tactic appears to be "I became a teeny-bopper musician due to all the grade-school gay-bashing I endured. Now please don't vote me out." Which actually works on Danielle, somehow, judging by her reaction in the DR. I was wrong to call her a puppet. She's a weather vane. [Note: At least she didn't express concern about Wil hitting on her, like she did with Jenn.]

The PoV players are getting picked. Frank reads from a card that there will be seven players in it this week, thanks to Shane's win of the "Veto Ticket" last week. So he, Frank, and nominees Wil and Joe head to the front of the room for the drawing. Frank pulls Jenn's name from the bag. Joe gets Houseguest's Choice, and since he has no friends, he picks Ashley on account of how she's all gimpy and thus easier for him to beat. Wil DRs about Joe's selfishness in picking Ashley, and then draws Mike's name. Which is exactly what he didn't want. Frank names Ian as the host of the competition. Dan DRs that he's worried about getting backdoored if Frank or Mike win the PoV. Mike did tell Frank it was too early for that. But on the other hand, that was a day or two ago.

Everyone's hanging out in the living room, doing nothing, saying nothing, literally just staring at the walls, when suddenly the telltale hum of fake servomotors emanates from the door to the Diary Room. Mike jumps up like it's a fire alarm, but the slightly more piercing voice of the Zingbot 3000 trills, "I'm baaaack!" It starts right in on them, telling Ashley her smile lights up the room. "Too bad it's the only thing about you that's bright! Zzzing! Z-z-z-z-zing!" Ashley pretends to get it. The Zingbot moves on to making fun of Shane's hot-pink tank top, Britney's loss to the Brigade two years ago ("I'm over it. I'm not bitter," she DRs unconvincingly), before asking Joe what it's like to be the old man of the house. "Oh, sorry, Boogie, I didn't see you there," it zings. Then it zings Ian, the chemical engineering student, for his lack of chemistry with "the ladies," Jenn for being covered in as much bad ink as a gossip rag, and Frank for his "Little Orphan Annie" haircut (the reference is lost on Frank). Danielle gets it the worst, as it zings that Shane's going to give her something at the end of the season: a restraining order. "I hate the fricking Zingbot," Danielle spits through gritted teeth. It's funny because it's true.

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Big Brother

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