Big Love
Affair

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They want to know what love is

So we've established that Barb is the Gallant of the plural wives. Bill has just walked into Goofus's home: it's a mess, there's both a stereo and a TV running, and when Margene comes out, she's only half-dressed, with a baby on her hip. And instead of domestic tranquility, it's "I got you a burger. It's in the bag. I'll put it in the microwave when I come down. Oh, and Lester pooped on your robe but it's almost out of the dryer." Goofus wanders off, leaving Bill standing alone in the kitchen, shaking his head. The music swells up again. Bill looks at his empty bottle of Viagra, tosses it in the trash, then hides the bottle by sweeping some fast-food refuse on top of it. He then goes to the kitchen window to yearn over Barb, who is chastely drinking a glass of pure water in her clean kitchen. Gosh, I'm not quite sure, but I think maybe this show is trying to point out how the contrast between the different wives is not necessarily something Bill welcomes.

The next morning, Teeny is busy trying to kick-start a case of the Type II diabetes with the gallon of syrup she's squeezed on her waffles, the older kids (including Margene) are just sort of occupying space, and Barb whirls on down and begins rushing everyone out the door. Without breaking stride, Barb yanks away Teeny's syrup and waffles, telling her it can't be good for her. "It's fortified!" Teeny protests. The phone rings. It's Bill. He's feeling frisky, and after confirming that nobody's listening, Barb tells him the feeling is mutual. The two of them click off. This is when Margene says to thin air, "You know what? I've decided I'm not going to get dressed all day." Before Barb can address this, her cell phone rings. It's Bill. He'd like to know what time Barb's having lunch today, because he'd like to have her for lunch. Barb is all over this idea: they'll meet at her house at one.

Barb then ensures that Margene won't be joining them. She goes into the living room, where Margene's sprawled out on the floor watching TV with her kids, and says, "You can't live one of out three days with Bill and then spend the rest of the time just camped out with Bill…one of the best things about how we live is we're a community. The kids should feel comfortable and safe in each of the houses because it's a home." Margene asks, "My house isn't a home?" Barb urges her, "Make it nice for yourself. Why don't you finally unpack? I bet, if you spend a little time and invest in your home, you won't even want to leave." So is St. Barb the patron saint of the indirect communicators or what?

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Big Love

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