Big Love

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
They want to know what love is

It turns out that Pam's into building and decorating dollhouses. While this one wouldn't exactly give Colleen Moore's Fairy Castle direct competition, it's pretty impressive for a hobbyist. Margene sincerely says it's the most beautiful thing she's seen, then asks how many kids Pam has. Pam awkwardly stammers that she doesn't have any. Margene settles for smiling hopefully.

Meanwhile, among the members of the Henrickson family that actually get to leave the house every once in a while, Ben is currently courting whiplash in his girlfriend's car. Brynn's pissed that he's going to seminary. Ben explains, "I have to [go]. I don't feel pure. I think there's something inside me that shouldn't be there…I have these dreams, okay? I think about sex all the time." Brynn thinks that's good, and Ben bursts out, "No! I can't control it, okay? I get hard-ons in wood shop." There's a long, embarrassed silence and Brynn finally says sadly, "They'll brainwash you, make you think your body is dirty. Don't let them ruin you." Ben looks at her, completely miserable. He realizes that Brynn is also pretty unhappy, so he leans over to take her hand and promise her he won't turn into a sexless drone.

The phone at Lois's gas station rings and some young, eleven-months-pregnant girl answers it. As if being eleven months pregnant and trapped on a patriarchal polygynous compound wasn't bad enough, the poor thing's also named Levelor. Like the blinds. Nicki throws around the family name, and Levelor runs off to fetch Wanda.

We transition to Wanda listening to Nicki carry on. Nicki says, "He is seeing a fourth wife. This is exactly what he did when he got interested in Margene." For some reason, that sounds really creepy. However, Nicki's stoked: "Honestly, I knew even before I knew. You know?" Wanda says, "It's so easy to see through them. They're kind of cute that way." You just keep telling yourself that, Wanda. Nicki says, "The situation is delicate. You know Barb -- she's so resistant to change." The woman who became a polygynist later in life is resistant to change? I swear, writing for Nicki must be a hoot. Every day is opposite day in her head. Nicki continues, "He's going to need me to straighten things out with her. I'm so excited, Wanda! I'm so happy for us! I'm so happy. Barb -- first wives think they know everything, but really, they just walk around in a fog." A sex-induced fog, sure. Nicki blathers on, "Four is a better number. To tell you the truth, I'm really bored with Barb. And Margie." Wanda laughs, completely unable to even contemplate the possibility that perhaps Nicki's bored because all her drive and brains are confined to two small children and one house, and she needs more.

And now, it's the Geritol Poetry Hour with Roman and Rhonda. Alby interrupts to come in and grovel a little, then promises to do better with the next audit letter. Roman twists the knife with, "It's not your fault, son. I gave you more than you can handle. Your talents lie elsewhere. We all have our gifts." I personally think Roman is completely playing Alby here, because he knows Alby will utilize those gifts -- many of which revolve around thuggery -- and then if there's fallout, he can hang Alby out to dry by pointing out the boy acted on his own. But I ascribe all sorts of super-fantastic scheming powers to Roman, so take my speculation with a grain of salt.

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Big Love




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