Big Love
Affair

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
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They want to know what love is

Bill stands there, dread on his face as he jumps to the conclusion that Nicki's managed to figure out the whole thing with Barb. Fortunately, her follow-up conversation indicates that she thinks Bill's made up his mind on a fourth wife. She asks, "Do you want me to be the one to break the news?" Bill asks, "Can you be a little more specific?" Nicki replies, "Fine. If that's how you want to play it." Bill clicks off and looks at the phone as if it were responsible for the surrealism of that conversation. He then looks down to notice Barb's necklace caught in the cuff of his pants. In the background, Don batters a vending machine that done wronged him.

And now, bathroom shenanigans. As Peg's washing up, Wendy comes out of a stall and says, "I think what you're doing is wrong." Peg gaslights Wendy perfectly: "Is everything okay? Is there something you want to say?" There is. Wendy tells her: "I've got my eye on you, and I know my rights. You can't fire me or get me fired for doing what I know is right." Peg leans in and asks, with motherly concern, "Now why would I want to do something like that? You're the best little junior bookkeeper we've ever had." Make that motherly concern if the mother in question is Medea.

Barb's vacuuming when a somber Nicki comes in and tells her, "There's a problem. Look out the window." What they see: Margene having the incredible nerve to be socializing with Pam. We quickly zoom to the wives giving Margene a talk, with Barb all, "It's not that you can't see her…" It's just that Margene can't see her. Nicki helpfully adds, "You're the weak link, Margie." Margene's like, "Come again?" Nicki says with apparent sincerity, "We have to be realistic. You can't keep a secret like me, and you're not a good liar like Barb." What must it be like to be Nicki? To be able to twist a knife in two directions with every statement?

Later that night, Barb's getting ready for bed when she finds a small box hidden in the pillows. It looks like a gift, but is really just the gift of the necklace she thought she had lost. Still, points to Bill for presentation.

Nicki is washing her face in preparation for bed when she notices she has no soap. When she goes to grab some out of the basket, she notices it's embossed with a hotel logo. She pulls the wrapper out of the basket and immediately goes into suspicious mode.

The next morning, she marches over to Margene's. The other girl's up early -- and dressed -- and already folding laundry. Margene greets her with a good morning; Nicki says, "Good morning," quite cheerily, then does a total 180 and barks, "Did you and Bill have relations before he brought you home to us to be a wife?" Margene looks up and protests, "No, Nicki! And I think that is completely none of your business." Oh, Margene. Don't play poker. Nicki stalks over and commands, "Look me in the eyes, Margene." Margene keeps folding laundry and mutters, "I'm not going to do the look-me-in-the-eyes thing." Nicki says again, "Look me in the eye." Margene goggles her defiantly. Nicki says, "I thought as much. How could you?" As she walks off, Margene stutter-shouts, "No! Nicki! You think you know everything? You look me in the eye for once! You look me in the eye!" Then Margene points at the bridge of her nose and nearly goes cross-eyed in the process. Nicki stalks off, shaking her head, as Margene shouts, "Look me in the eye! I'm looking at you with my eyes!" That poor kid. I may have to start wearing a "FREE MARGENE!" shirt when I recap this show.

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Big Love

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