The good news is, Season Two of this show is going to be epic. The bad news is, all the backstory being set up in Season One occasionally gets a little draggy. In this most recent episode, Bill and Don show what happens to little boys who prank-call people: they grow up to leave silly messages with federal officials. This genius ploy is presumably meant to bring the full weight of the U.S. government down on Juniper Creek.
However, it's not like either of these polygynists is safe. Wendy the junior bookkeeper saw Don out with Peg, Verna, and JoJo and correctly suspects they're in a group marriage. A lonely Margene is making friends with the curious neighbor across the street. A crew lowered a billboard into the background scenery reading "SOMEONE is going to get busted for polygamy very soon."
Then there is the sex. Jason is still avidly interested in the state of Ben's erections. Bill is hot for Barb and the two launch an "affair," i.e. sneaking away to have sex on the days he's ostensibly supposed to be with his other wives. There is the implication that Alby's a seething wreck because he's got the hots for his dad's new wife.
And then there is Nicki. After spending an episode tearing around in a hilariously over-the-top, self-involved snit, she actually shines for three minutes: once Alby's scared the piss out of the Henrickson kids, Nicki descends onto him and his henchmen like an avenging angel and tells them not to bother her family again, or else she'll kill him. And then she pisses all over her finest moment with her family by telling them she wants to get pregnant in a most smug and spiteful fashion. Behold the new post-Melrose vixen! And this one doesn't even wear a miniskirt.
Previously on Sister-Wives: Barb decided to take a job; Nicki decided to take a bath; Bill decided to "take it to Roman."
We open the episode with Bill furtively closing his door, then phoning in a refill for his Viagra prescription. Right after the pharmacist tells Bill to hang on, Bill's cell rings. Inexplicably, he answers the cell. Commence the phone hijinks:
Bill: [to his mobile phone] Hey!
Barb:Oh, hi. Where are you?
Bill: [to Barb] The office.
Barb: I just got off the shuttle. It started fifteen minutes ago.
Bill: [to Barb] Oh, no.
The pharmacist: That's Viagra?
Bill: [to the pharmacist] Prescription's for 200, but I just buy 20 at a time.
The pharmacist: Got it.
Barb: Honey? Honey? Honey? How long is it going to take you?
Bill: [to Barb] Not long.
The pharmacist: How many?
Bill: [to the pharmacist] Just give me 20.
Barb: All right. Take the [garbled] exit, and just --
The pharmacist: When will you be picking this up?
Bill: [to Barb] I'll be by tomorrow.
Barb: That's not funny.
Bill: [to Barb] Eh, um -- TWENTY!
Barb: See you soon.
Bill: [to the pharmacist] Love you!
The pharmacist: They all say that at first, but they're just using me for the pills.
We then transition to what is a considerably cleaner, more picturesque version of Juniper Creek, i.e. a recreation of a pioneer town in which nostalgia overrides authenticity. It also blunts any funky soul: there's a bunch of white guys in suits doing their best Muzak interpretation of KC and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Booty." A suit-clad, sunglasses-wearing Bill still manages to stride into the pioneer holding pen like he's Tony Manero on Saturday night.
He takes off his glasses to scan for Barb and finds her. She's looking very nice in a short dress the color of pink grapefruit, and her hair's swept up. We then see Bill and Barb walking around as Barb reads off a map. Bill is absolutely not paying attention to Barb, and she knows it, so when he asks whether Barb's seen an acquaintance from the chamber of commerce yet, Barb asks sassily, "Why? Do you think he'd be interested in Lucy Lewis's homestead?"
Bill and Barb then go schmoozing to the melodic sounds of the average white band, and soon come upon one Councilman Davis. There's a brief, awkward moment where Mr. Davis is trying to place him, so Bill smoothly prods him, "I spoke at Rotary. Henrickson Home Plus?" The light bulb goes on and it's time to make small talk. Anyway, Bill does the chit-chat and mentions that Henrickson Home Plus is sponsoring one of the buildings here, then intros Barb. She smoothly burnishes Bill and talks up his interest in what is clearly the councilman's pet project, then mentions, "I can't wait to bring my class." Davis takes this opportunity to say, "There's not much you can't accomplish with a private/public partnership. Now big government…" he begins wagging his finger. I disagree. Big government can accomplish a lot! It can manage to pass the buck on who was responsible for the Hurricane Katrina travesty, it can tap U.S. citizens' phone conversations without their consent, it can gut the Endangered Species and Clean Air Acts, and if Prison Break is to be believed, it still finds the time to engineer massive frame-ups against the children of its former employees. Let's see a public/private partnership do all that.