Big Love
Circle The Wagons

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Full Houses

Nicki's still sacked out at home, but at least she's relocated out to the living room couch. Except the couch is all draped in matching sheets in that way that means someone's going to be more or less living on it indefinitely. Anyway, Barb comes in, delivering an egg sandwich and acting all sympathetic. But it's a crappy act, because it includes her stopping off in the kitchen, getting a glass of ice from the noisy icemaker in the fridge, then sitting down on Nicki's coffee table and commencing to crunch it loudly between her teeth. Which I'm pretty sure is something you only do when you're trying to irritate someone on purpose. I have too many fillings to do it myself, which is why I have to rely on other irritation-causing techniques. After paying lip service to Nicki's worries about Roman, Barb starts telling Nicki about Bill's "half-cocked" business venture, which she doesn't think is a good idea. "If it makes us more money, why not?" Nicki shrugs. Barb says through a mouthful of ice that Nicki won't feel that way for long. Nicki snaps at her for the ice-crunching and says, "I don't mind that it's gambling, if that's the big thing." And that's Bill busted, pretty early in the episode even for him. Barb asks when Nicki heard about this. "Yesterday or the day before," Nicki says, even though it was just this morning. "You're not always the first to know, Barb," she snots mildly. "I would…never assume that I was," Barb lies unconvincingly. Nicki paraphrases Roman: "There's no sin in taking money from sinners." As a weak parting shot, Barb crunches a last chunk of ice and walks out.

Margene has temporarily taken over the household shopping at Home Plus, since Nicki is, you know, too busy moping. Running into Ben, she asks him for directions to the air filters. Ben points her in the right direction. Before she heads off that way, a blond, blandly handsome Home Plus employee with a necktie shows up to ask Ben about dimmers. Look no further, dude; they don't come any dimmer than Ben. But then, when the guy spots Margene, he's all over her. Literally. So apparently they know each other from somewhere, presumably the olden days when Margene worked at Home Plus. Margene addresses him as Greg and chirps an awkward "Hi!" as he hugs her. Seeing her wedding ring, Greg asks if Margene is married. Margene: "Yes! [cutting a quick look at Ben.] I…was married. Two years ago. He died not long ago." Greg literally says, "Congratulations and sorry." He says he still has some blue sweater, which I guess has some significance to their shared history, but before we can delve into that Margene says she has to go. Good call there. Greg takes himself another big tight hug, and she's off, saying a quick good-bye to Ben. As she walks away in the shortest skirt we've seen her in yet, Greg calls to her and waves with two fingers, if by "wave" you mean "make a borderline obscene gesture." "Diddly-doo," he says. "Diddly-doo, Greg," Margene responds shortly, and starts walking away even faster. Greg asks Ben how he and Margene know each other, and Ben says she used to baby-sit him and his sisters. Which is factually correct, I suppose. "She ever give you a spanking?" Greg leers. He calls Margene "the best piece of ass I ever had," and says it's "worth a second try." Which, with Ben being recently single, is just about the last thing he wants to hear someone saying about the mom he's probably got a renewed crush on. So he does what anyone would do: he shoves Doug into a stack of heater fans and storms off. Good thing Greg didn't shoot his mouth off in garden tools, or Ben would probably be in jail now.

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Big Love

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