Big Love
Circle The Wagons

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Full Houses

As Nicki sits back down, Margene asks if Nicki's for it. Nicki says she is, and that Margene should be too. Margene realizes that Barb's got her heels pretty well dug in on this, and isn't likely to budge. Which puts her in a unique position: "So if I say yes, then it's yes, and if I say no -- " Nicki snaps at her not to get carried away. But judging from the empowered expression on Margene's face as she goes back inside, she already is. Careful, Margene. People who get too much enjoyment out of being the swing vote have an unfortunate tendency to get voted off the island.

That night, Bill leads his harem into the "Delta Dinner Club" to the strains of "Get Down Tonight" by KC and the Sunshine Band. David Byrne is doing the music for the show this season, and sometimes I think he's just picking some of these songs so he can have an excuse not to get rid of some of his old records. Bill asks a woman at the front counter for three cups of coffee, and gets charged ninety dollars. "We don't drink coffee," Margene says, and Barb says they wouldn't pay thirty bucks a cup if they did. So clearly they haven't even been inside a Starbuck's lately. Having already handed over the cash, Bill explains that it's not really for coffee. He hands each of his wives a plastic cup and drops a stack of game tokens into each one. So they don't even get coffee?

They enter the main gaming floor, where a Bingo game is in progress. Bill points out the Bingo, the poker machines, and "All sorts of great video games." Barb is shocked that they're even in a casino at all, which she says is illegal in Utah. Bill corrects her: it's a "gaming center." Even where it's against the law, people who really want to gamble are going to find a way. They watch as some old lady in an ugly silk track suit calls Bingo and gets picked out by a spotlight. Bill leads them along a row of machines to a vacant terminal whose screen features cards and a photo of a dark-haired chick leering out at them. Bill, you moron, pick a different machine. Barb seems uncertain, and Bill is only too happy to show her how to get started. When the machine deals her cards, Margene quickly chimes in, "Hold the pair." Barb does so, and ends up winning the hand with two pair. Except she also "wins" the sound of a whipcrack and a woman moaning, and the sight of the bikini model on the screen taking her top off. You're not helping, bikini model. Nicki, who has been distracted by the Bingo, asks what just happened. Barb says, "She's taking her clothes off. Margie, make her do it again." Margene wins the next hand, and just like that, the bikini chick is naked. Even Nicki is uncertain about this now. I hate to think what would have happened if Margene had drawn a full house. Probably something even HBO wouldn't show. "We'll get rid of it if it's one of ours," Bill assures them. Nicki is so on board with the idea that she's even gotten over her initial shock. "She looks a little bit like you, Margie," she whispers, before turning her attention back to the Bingo. Margene smiles hugely at what is probably the biggest compliment Nicki has ever given her. Bill wants them to try another machine. Yeah, good idea. Nicki peels off and wanders onto the Bingo floor, where a woman in a seat on the aisle asks Nicki to watch her cards while she goes to the bathroom. Come on, does that really happen? Serious Bingo players asking some total stranger to play for them? Maybe in Utah. Nicki accepts the woman's big fat Bingo marker, holding it like she expects it to go off any moment as she sits down in front of the woman's cards. Lets hope she knows the rules.

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Big Love




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