Barb's at a college campus, looking into taking some classes to apply to a possible master's degree. "Empty nest?" asks the nosy lady at the registration desk. Barb doesn't answer, because this is a ten-second scene and the clock just ran out.
Margene is sitting at the playground, watching her kids and Nicki's be adorable, and she gets an idea. She calls Barb on the cell phone and asks what she's doing. "Shopping," Barb lies. Margene shares her idea, which is to go make friends with Pam and Carl again and find out what they know. Her determination to fix this on her own is awfully cute, but it takes Barb about three seconds to determine that Margene hasn't thought this out at all and is already way out of her depth, even before she's gotten her feet wet. "This goes so much deeper and so much further back than just dinner with the neighbors," Barb condescends. "I know," Margene assures her. Margene totally doesn't know. She's still trying to be relentlessly cheery as she asks if Barb is coming home tonight. "No," Barb says firmly. Margene's voice gets rather less chirpy as she says, "Barb, I don't know if I can be married to Nicki and Bill if I'm not married to you." Barb just hangs up. Again. And now Margene's got a dial tone in one ear and a fussy baby in the other. That'll teach her to have ideas.
Bill enters his office for the day, and Don's right behind him in a Home Plus apron. "Gee, Bill, this could be awkward," Don says, but Bill doesn't want either of them to stress out about the fact that Don is sheltering Bill's prodigal wife. "Apparently this kind of thing happens a lot with regular married people," Don volunteers helpfully. Bill asks if Peg has ever left Don. "Oh God, no," Don laughs, but seeing Bill's reaction, he hastily adds, "But she could." Bill says he keeps asking himself, "What would Abraham Lincoln do?" Well, let's see. The secession of the Southern states prompted Lincoln to fight a war that killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. Hopefully Bill will respond differently to the secession of Barb. Don invites Bill to his prayer group. Bill demurs, saying, "Thanks but...thanks."
Nicki is having a visit from her mom, who reports that Roman has his hands full lately. "He banned music," Adaleen says offhandedly. Nicki approves, of course. As they sit down at the table for a glass of lemonade, Adaleen talks about how everyone at the compound is suspecting everyone else of poisoning Alby, including herself. "Imagine me poisoning my own son in order to set up some supposed rivals to have them banished," Adaleen says. Done! Actually, I think that line was just there so we could be reminded that Nicki and Alby have the same mother and father, since sibling relationships can never be taken for granted on this show. Nicki brings up her own issue, which is that Barb has left. Adaleen is extravagantly unsurprised. "Plus Margene's care has fallen to me," Nicki adds, like now she's always having to feed her young sister-wife and clean out her cage and what have you. Adaleen certainly doesn't envy Nicki that responsibility. Nicki stresses about not being ready to become first wife (which, come on, she totally has been since day one), and talks about how angry she is at her prime suspect, Wendy from Bill's office. "I wish I could teach her a lesson," she says. Adaleen asks, "Do I understand what you're asking?" Uh, I hope somebody does, because I certainly don't. Nicki momentarily drops her pious act and stares her mother in the eyes. Adaleen gets it -- somehow -- and she nods. "Stay strong," she smiles. Wait, what just happened?