Margene is back home, playing with Lester in the back yard. It's kind of a tossup as to which of them is cuter right now. Nicki, being immune to such things as cuteness, marches up and gives Margene a hard time about missing Ben's driver's test, like it wasn't a spur of the moment thing that wasn't decided on until Margene had already left. Margene breezily says she'll make it up to Ben, and spontaneously wraps Nicki in a big hug. "Now I know how happy you really and truly were when I joined the family!" she gushes. Going by Nicki's current expression, she has since gotten over it. Before Nicki can ask Margene what she's on, Barb comes out to ask for Nicki's help with the dishwasher. Margene excitedly asks her sister-wives out for lunch tomorrow. Barb tries to beg off, but in the face of Margene's excitement about "this restaurant I really want you to take you to" and an indulgent Vulcan eyebrow-cock from Nicki (which practically ranks up there with drunken handsprings on the scale of Nicki's usual reactions to Margene's antics), Barb agrees. Margene excitedly scoops up Lester to help her pick out her dress for tomorrow. Nicki observes to Barb, "There's something up with her." Barb shrugs, "She's just being Margene. The dishwasher?" I generally wish Barb no ill, but I can't wait until her dismissive attitude toward Margene blows up in her face but good.
So, like every red-blooded American teen who has a girlfriend with whom he regularly goes all the way, and who has just gained solo access to the family car, Ben has gone -- to church. Okay, maybe he somehow inherited Nicki's green Vulcan blood. He's visiting his old bishop, who asks if everything is okay. Ben makes his confession, that he's been having sex. "More than once. Or, like, a lot. And I don't think I can stop." The bishop mildly asks, "Is the sex you're having gender-specific?" Ben says it's just with his girlfriend, who he really and truly loves, even though she's not a member of the church. Which is fine, but when he blames Brynn for being the one who always wants to play bouncy-bouncy, he's kind of out of line. Kissing and telling is one thing, but throwing your girlfriend under the bus carrying the morality police is beyond ungentlemanly. The bishop calmly lectures Ben about eternal marriage, sexual morality, blah blah blah. It's just amazing how my brain just goes into shutdown mode at the sound of certain priestly buzzwords. I think it's God's way of protecting the clergy from my irritation. Miraculous, no? The bishop asks if Ben has discussed this with the bishop in his current ward, which, since that's basically Bill, Ben hasn't. The bishop decides to give Ben some literature and come up with a plan, which will include inviting Brynn to church with him so the bishop can talk to both of them. Oh, Brynn is not going to appreciate that. The pamphlets Ben gets -- one of which is called "Satan's Thrust" -- don't seem to make Ben feel much better. Look on the bright side, Ben -- once Brynn finds out that you told your ex-bishop that she's a dirty whore, not having sex with her is going to get a lot easier.