Big Love
Dating Game

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Number Four

Back to Number Four, so to speak. Bill has decided to pay Ana an unexpected visit. He's brought along a Brita filter as a pretext, and she starts telling him that he doesn't have to bring her stuff when he stops by (which of course means "this gift sucks"). Bill abruptly decides: less talking, more kissing. And then they're making out all over her tiny apartment while Avril Lavigne sings "Girlfriend." And suddenly that dopey lyric, "I don't like your girlfriend/I think you need a new one" could be giving voice to differing factions of the show's audience. It's getting hot and heavy, until Bill calls a halt just before Ana's bra comes off. She wonders what's going on. I blame the song. She assures him that she's not anti-religious, but Bill says that's not it. He wants to go ahead, but he's afraid of jeopardizing what could happen between them in the long term. Ana calls that a "sweet line," and is about to get back into it, but Bill puts her off, saying he wants to be sure. "You don't have to say all these things to have me," Ana says, unnecessarily. Bill starts buttoning his shirt, saying he should go. Then he notices the second bouquet of flowers and asks what's up with that, like a hurt little boy. Which is pretty rich, considering. Ana answers, "My girlfriend, Margene." Wow, what are the chances?

Now, normally, here's where you'd put the scene in which the unfaithful husband goes home and is confronted by the angry wife who knows everything. Except it's kind of the other way around here, and thus a whole lot more interesting. Bill storms into Margene's house, making this rather oblique accusation: "Have you been getting pie at the diner?" Margene makes the cutest little "busted" face she has in her repertoire, saying she knows she overstepped. Damn, Bill has these women trained a lot better than I thought. But then she goes over to Bill and excitedly says that Ana would make "an amazing fourth." Margene is a smitten kitten. Unfortunately, Bill is too much of an ass to see how lucky he is to not be in trouble right now, and he tells her that his wife "can't be seeing a girl I'm dating." Margene wonders why not, since she'll be marrying Ana too. "And I love her! She loves you, she loves me, she'll love Barb, she'll grow to love Nicki." Hee! Bill says this isn't how you go about it, and he doesn't even know yet how Ana feels about the Principle. Margene happily says she's already got that covered, which just upsets Bill more. He tells Margene that he has to know it's the Holy Spirit talking to him. "What if the Holy Spirit's talking to me?" Margene asks, a bit frostily. Somewhat to Bill's credit, he seems sincere when he asks, "Is it?" Margene says that there wasn't a big holy thing when she met Bill; she just knew she loved them all. "So why can't we have that with Ana?" she wonders. Over the baby monitor, Lester starts fussing, and Margene gets up to take care of it. But before she goes, Bill tells Margene to back off of Ana for now. Margene agrees, but she doesn't mention anything about her lunch plans with the sister-wives tomorrow. And she warns Bill not to mess with Ana, calling her "very precious." Bill's left standing there, looking as upset as any other husband might after a conversation with his wife about whom he's been dating. Come on, how much better could he have hoped for this to work out? And how annoyed am I at this show for making it so I'm actually pulling for a fourth wife?

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Big Love

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