The next morning at zero-dark-thirty, the boys all have a quick prayer, with Bill asking the Lord to "bless Ben's new rifle, make it shoot straight and true." Fifty yards away, the woodland creatures are also in a prayer circle, asking the Lord to "make that rifle jerk a little to the left, if you don't mind. Lou's got a wife and two fawns to provide for." Bill and Don test their CBs, then split up to hunt.

Back at Nicki's house, the boys are playing on what looks to be one of those not-cheap hall runners while Nicki lurks behind closed doors. We soon see why: she's actually the call-in guest on Suze Orman's talk show. Nicki's saying that it's probably bad to take out a second mortgage to deal with the credit card debt, but what about declaring bankruptcy. Suze scolds, "You've got to help me out here. How much credit card debt do you actually have?" Nicki cringes and says, "I don't know. Around $20,000? I think?" It's interesting how, in this scene, she's got her hair down. I personally think she's got some sort of subconscious thing where she substitutes money for sex and/or love. Suze's not buying it. Nicki bumps the estimate to "Maybe thirty?" Suze lectures: "Here is the bottom line. When you don't know for sure how much credit card debt you have, that says to me, probably somebody else doesn't know either. Now, if you are married, don't tell me that you are hiding this debt not only from yourself but from your husband as well. Am I right?" Nicki's cringing posture and gulped "Yes" are truly pitiable. Suze continues hectoring from the television, "Do you understand that he is legally responsible for this debt so don't you think you owe it to him to tell him how much debt you have?" Nicki figures that now is not the time to let slip that she's actually Wife #2 and therefore on her own here. Instead, she points out that she's calling because she wants help figuring out what she has to do so her husband never has to know. Smart strategy -- all the best marriages are based on lies of omission and elaborate, sustained subterfuge. Suze says emphatically, "Truth attracts money, but lies repel it." She adds, "People first, then money, then things. I say it all the time." Suze closes out the conversation by exhorting Nicki to figure out exactly how much credit card debt she has.

And then, in a sequence that strikes terror into my debt-averse heart, we see Nicki pulling out not one but two giant shoeboxes full of old statements. She sits down and begins tallying the damage. The sum total: $58,688. HOLY MOLEY. (I don't feel right using profanity to make a point in a Big Love recap for some reason.) And she doesn't even have a private-college education or a Mercedes to show for her troubles. Nicki pulls the covers over the whole mess, then locks herself in her bathroom.