Barb is revamping Teeny's moon costume when Sarah comes in to tell her that she wants to go to a party that night. Barb asks for the usual information, then gives her an 11:30 PM curfew. She adds, "You're going to miss the pots and pans...the Chinese used to bang pots and pans to scare off the dragons from devouring the Earth, according to Teeny." Sarah says, "I have a question," and Barb instantly banishes Teeny from the room. The question: "Did it take you days or weeks to get used to the idea of polygamy when Dad brought it up?" Barb gropes for an answer before saying, "It was a gradual process. Why?" Sarah says she's just curious. Sarah then asks how Roman managed to take over the compound. Barb exposits for all of us: " Roman was your great-grandfather Orville's accountant. After the raids in the '50s, Orville set up the UEB, and Roman manipulated the shares. I don't really understand how, but he tricked Orville and was able to vote him out. It was like a hostile takeover. Roman took Orville's land and most of his wives, and left your dad's family poor as dirt."
Sarah just says, "Huh," and goes to leave. Barb stops her and tells her, "I want you to remember that we are not those people, and we never will be, if that's what this is about." She strokes Sarah's hair, but before Barb can add anything else, Margene bursts in with the news that Nicki's been locked in her bathroom for at least two hours. The two wives head over to see what's going on.
Bill and Ben are walking in the woods. Bill asks how the girlfriend is. Ben uses this opportunity to obliquely mention his wet dreams, then asks, "How do you know if God's talking to you, or if you're just talking to yourself?" Bill replies, "It's one of the most important challenges in life, son. To hear and to recognize the voice of the Lord. Staying wholesome's part of it. So many addictions in this world -- TV and food and gluttony -- things that are offensive and numbing to the spirit. But you also have to be very careful. Sometimes you think it's the Lord speaking, but it's just your own emotions. Your own demons."
Ben doesn't quite get all of that, but he soldiers on, asking if anyone can have a revelation. Well, according to Don, they're regularly having them in Aisle 8 of the Pic 'n' Save. Bill explains that we can, but before he gets any further, he's got Jason on the CB, babbling about a wolf running nearby. Bill tells him, "He's not going to hurt you, son. He'll leave you alone if you leave him alone. Rule of the wild -- snakes, bears, wolves. They're all the same. Give 'em a wide berth and they'll head off on their own."
Barb and Margene check up on Nicki -- Margene saying wildly, "Your children need you!" at one point, which is both endearing and hysterical -- who comes out wrapped in a towel and huffing that she just wanted to be left in peace to take a bath. Nobody says, "For two hours? You look like a dried apricot!" Anyway, Nicki deflects all the concern by dumping all over Barb, saying, "When were you going to tell us about your new job, boss lady? After you took it?" Barb finally asks Nicki to stop calling her that. Margene's gaping, and Barb sends her out to distract Nicki's boys, as they're currently channeling Beavis and Butthead. Barb sits down and says, "If you and I could have a rational conversation --" and Nicki huffs, "I'm rational now, and my answer is, no. You cannot take that job." Oh. My. GOD. Margene's idea of distracting the kids is by throwing a ball out of the room, so she races back in to ask about the job. Nicki continues, "I'm not your personal assistant, Barb. And neither is Margie." Barb points out that she isn't the only one who fobs errands off onto the other two, then adds that the money goes into a common pot. This only enrages Nicki -- noncontributing, indebted Nicki -- further. Barb alleges, "You treat Margene like she's your maid!" and Nicki replies defensively, "I got her a stereo!" Barb wants to know where Nicki got the money for that, and Nicki totally turns it around on her with, "Money, money, money! That's all anyone thinks about around here!" Oh, if hypocrisy were pastries, Nicki would be baklava, just layer after flaky layer of expedient half-truths. Barb calls her out with, "Then you won't care that you won't get an advance on next month's allowance."