Big Love
Eclipse

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Bang the pot slowly

That work thing that Bill was so eager to get to? Was a meeting where he gets to yell a lot about how Roman's harassing him. Then Bill gets derailed because some woman in the lawyer's office is tapping her fingernails, and it's reminding him of his dream. The bottom line: Roman does have a right to an audit at a place and a time of his choosing. The lawyer muses, "You'd never guess an old reprobate like Roman Grant would go high-end corporate counsel. I'm impressed."

We then see Bill monkeying around with a .30-06 shotgun in his office, testing how quickly he can raise it to his shoulder and fire.

Cut to an anxious-looking Teeny standing outside the school, scanning the road for a familiar car. Oh, honey. I think we have all been that kid at some point. Then Tui pulls up and Teeny's anxious expression cycles through What the H? before landing on Oh, sugar! because here's Margene, leaping out and saying, "I'm here! I brought everything! It's going to be just fine!" Any kid knows that the minute the adults start talking like that, everything is going to be the opposite of just fine. Margene hands over the costume and Teeny says, "I need tights, Margie. I need tights." Margene says she's got that covered with -- ta da! -- pantyhose. Then she beckons Teeny into the car. Tui is wearing this hilarious, completely resigned expression.

Meanwhile, at the Fake Fifties place, there's a little intra-collegial bitchery when Miss Fingerbang and Heather go at it for the usual reasons: Heather thinks Miss Fingerbang's a whore, and Miss Fingerbang thinks Heather's an uptight Morg-bot. Miss Fingerbang then invites Sarah to a party, and before Heather can complete her high-volume declaration that she and Sarah have other plans, Sarah's tentatively essayed that she might go. Heather's all, "To the same party as her? No way. You don't want to go either. So let's go to the Spaghetti Factory." And I know that Heather's trying to help a sister out here, but the look on Sarah's face suggests she's not going to sit for anyone telling her what she wants, and Heather is totally missing it. Sarah decides she's all about the party.

And now, we find out why it was so important for Teeny to have tights and not pantyhose. Although she was playing the moon in the lunar eclipse pageant, it's not the costume that's evoking images of the full moon. It's her underwear, which is in full view in the pantyhose. Naturally, all the kids begin laughing uncontrollably. Oh, that's not going to leave any permanent psychological scars or anything.

Nicki is slamming shut the trunk on her Subaru after pulling out a bag from the Gap. That woman is relentless. As she walks in, we see Margene reciting a litany of all the things Nicki dumped on her, and then Barb wheels around, looking loaded for bear. Behind her, Margene tries to mimic the hands-on-hips stance, but she looks like a little kid shadowing Mom. Nicki comes in and we see that she's also got two other big bags. Relentless! Lucky magazine staffers wish they were half as enthusiastic about shopping as she. Barb says with angry tears in her voice, "Teeny's devastated. Completely heartbroken." And let me tell you, Jeanne Tripplehorn just nails this scene. Nicki asks what happened, and Barb gives a pointed look at the shopping bags before replying, "Shouldn't we ask you that?" Nicki protests that it was a family emergency, and Margene bristles with righteous indignation as she asks, "Did you have somebody die at the Gap?" Barb looks at her like, You are not helping, Miss Pantyhose Will Work.

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Big Love

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