Alby pulls up at a gas station in the Buick, "Blame It On The Bossa Nova" playing loud, because that's how he rolls, and espies this incredibly too hot hustler dude leaned up against the wall near the gumball machines. They look at each other, you know how I mean, and they look and look, the dude lights a cig, and they half-smile in that way where you don't really have to wonder if Billy's going to ask you to the Prom, because he already took off your cummerbund with his eyeballs. No, hottie hustler guy! He's got this huge knife! You're too hot to die horribly at the hands of a wall-eyed cult member! But who isn't?!
Teeny and Margene sit at the kitchen table, and Nicki comes in bearing Teeny's "Blue Day" jacket, saying she found it on the ground between the houses. Teeny says she has no idea how that happened, and runs off. Nicki smiles both beautifully and somewhat embarrassedly at Barb and confesses that she found a pair of "Wayne's poop underwear" tucked in the sleeve. Wayne takes off immediately. I just hope she washed it before she handed it to Teeny -- who is already a loser and the last thing she needs, socially, is a jacket that smells like Wayne's "poop underwear." Barb tells Nicki that he is way too old to be pulling that, and Nicki's way less testy, agreeing. "... He's acting out. I think he misses Bill." Barb snaps peas and says nothing for a bit, then notes that Bill's mentioned that Nicki is ovulating, and offers Nicki her night. "Thanks, Barb," says Nicki, like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, and the phone rings. Margene answers, and tells Barb it's Ben, and everybody gets really worried.
Alby comes out of the convenience store and notes the hottie hustler peripherally -- he pauses outside the doors and nods subtly to himself, like God just double-dog dared him to do something scary. The guy grabs his duffle bag and approaches, and they do the dance, and there's a lot of whatever because it's Alby and he's weird and won't just answer the question, so finally they get into the Buick, and he plops the bag of groceries he just bought cutely in the hustler's lap. Even the guy thinks it's cute. They drive off. I don't know if hustler is the right word, because I think they're just attracted to each other, but on the other hand, why's he hanging out in front of a gas station with a duffle bag looking totally hot? So I guess he is a prostitute, and I guess Alby is going to murder him brutally, and probably drink grape juice out of his skull or something horrible like that. What would be really funny would be if it was because of Alby's one nut, like the guy would be all, "Whoa, what?" and Alby could grab a lamp and say something like, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" and strike a blow for the one-testicled men of the world, but then he'd still end up cutting the guy up, and who wants to be in that club anyway, especially if you've already lost a testicle?













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